A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It's been two months since my ex and I broke up. We broke up because we had some communication problems which we both believe we could fix, though we decided we both don't want a relationship right now. He has said he wants to give us another try eventually, though I'm unsure if he stills wants that.Everyday I get a text from him... sometimes he asks if I want to hang out. We've decided to just chill and be what we are without labeling, without kissing and stuff.My question is, should I stop replying to his texts? I cant handle talking to him, and hanging out with him. He now has a bad habit of doing drugs again, and I obviously don't want to be with him while he's doing drugs and while he doesn't want a relationship with me. I have some people that tell me not to text him back to make him realize that I don't need him in my life and others tell me I can show him I don't need him in my life by not responding for a while, and only as limited contact.
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female
reader, IAMDONE +, writes (12 May 2011):
When a relationship ends it is not always easy to maintain any type of relationship with that individual. I often question...Why would I still want a relationship with someone I broke up with? Am I intrested in having a relationship with that person in hopes of getting back together? Personally, I think that when a relationship is over, then it is over. The texting and the telephone calls should cease as well. You can not straddle the fence in a relationship that is over.
I would politely tell youe ex that you have finally come to the conclusion that there is no need for the two of you to continue to communicate by telephone conversation or texting. Let him know that the relationship is over and communication needs to ends. Now, if you feel better talking and texting back and forth and believe this will help you in getting over him, then perhaps the communication should continue as you back away. I personally believe there is no let me down easy...when it is over it is over.
There is pain and hurt associated with break ups. Relationships are tough and need a lot of nuturing....when they are done...they are just that DONE!!!
Decide what you really want in communication with the ex of yours...make some decisions and do what you have to do!! By all means, let your ex know what you are doing. Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 hello,
This guy is not where you need to be. Don't keep up the communication because it is a waste of time. He's on drugs and you can't travel that road with him. I know I wouldn't.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 He's on drugs. He does not want a relationship with you. You ( wisely ) can't handle being around him.
So, what's the point of exchanging texts ?
Don't reply. Ever .
Not because if you don't reply, he will understand or realize this and that. His drug muddled brain won't respond to , understand or even give a f**k about the message you want to send him.
Just because you don't need this guy in your life, and you deserve much better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2011): If you dont want to hang out or talk to him right now. Then it might be better for you if you stop replying to his texts. It doesnt sound as if this is a clean break, more of a 'lets see how we feel later' kind of break up. And thats never good. What is he doing while you are apart, besides drugs! Are you expecting him to stay faithful to you? Because he probably wont. How will that impact on you at a later date if he decided he does want to be with you again? What about the drugs? Will he be able to come off them easily in the future? What about the problems with communication? Can they get any better when you arent even seeing each other anymore? How will you feel if you do hang in there for him but he choses not to be in a relationship with you later?It is as if the relationship has been suspended, pending a final decision. Not a very good way to leave things. You BOTH decided you didnt want to be together. There must have been very good reasons for that. You seem the stronger of the two in your resolve to move on. So its my guess you were the one that had to cope the most in a poor relationship. If you dont have strong feelings for him and you can move on, i would suggest you do that right now and stop responding to him. Hes not your boyfriend anymore and you cant make a friend of him because its too soon for that, so draw a line in the sand and try to move on for your own sake.
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A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Doing drugs again.
Text him one last message
The phone number to NARCSAnon.
You stay clear until he is clean.
Drugs alter moods, minds, thoughts and thus communication.
Your dealing with two people, you may like Dr. Jekyll but the Mr. Hyde will have yours if your not careful.
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