A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am not sure if this guy likes me we been talking and he says that we are friends but we do kiss. he says he dont want to lead me on but than again he still kisses and flirts with me?...we both got out of relationships so we ended up talking to each other but the more i talk to him the more i have feelings but than again i dont think he has feelings for me if he says we are friends? i mean he does have to have feelings right for kissing me and flirting...(he dont drink smoke party club nothing) so any ways if he says im just a friend how can i get him to like me or to ask me on a date? he textes me everyday and all ...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 No, OP, disabuse yourself of this silly notion that if he kisses you , then he must have feelings for you, otherwise you'll grow up to be a woman who thinks : gee, if he f**ks me he must have feelings for me , and then : well, if he got me pregnant he must have feelings for me, and so on and so forth. Never assume anything - often , things are not as they SHOULD be in a perfect world.
OP, in this world there are people that can KILL without feeling any feelings, so don't think that everybody gets all emotional over a couple of kisses. I am not saying that this guy must be a mean bastard, no, but... you must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss :). He kisses you because he likes the physical sensation of kissing you- and because you let him do it. As for turning this into more, I am afraid that he made his position very clear about the subject, he's another one who's not gonna buy the cow if he can have the milk for free.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2011): You don't because he's not going to OP, he gets the prize without having to compete, why would he run the race when you're already giving him the rewards?
If he liked you enough to date you he would have asked you out, but he doesn't need to ask you out because you kiss him and stuff already.
He's just going to keep you hanging on until you develop enough feelings that you will let him shag you.
OP he said he doesn't want to lead you on, that means "I don't want a relationship with you" "I don't want you to get the wrong idea" "I'm not interested in you" it really does.
Why does he still kiss and flirt with you? Because you let him, having a girl that does that for free is a great laugh. He doesn't have to ask you out because he doesn't have to, you give him what he wants anyway, he made it clear to you that he's not interested so now he doesn't have to feel bad about kissing and hugging you because he already told you he only sees you as a friend, with benefits. It's not his fault that you give him all that stuff hoping he will, he said he's not going to, so it's your problem and you fault for thinking that the kissing and flirting means something else when he's told you it doesn't.
You have to make a choice OP, either cut out all the kissing and flirting, or keep the kissing and flirting, fall evermore in love with a guy who doesn't see you that way, then get your heartbroken when you realize he only wanted a FWB all along and that you shouldn't have started acting like a couple with a guy who's not interested without making him agree to dating you first.
The question isn't why is he kissing you when he has no feelings for you, that's obvious, because he can and he's not going to get hurt. The question is why are you kissing a guy you have feelings for knowing full well he's doesn't want a relationship with you.
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Hello,
You seem quite friendly with eachother so i think you could easily mention that you are "not comfortable kissing like this outside of relationships." Then when this has been said, you could move onto the possibilities of more. But, mention this because it's not fair that he does this outside of your boudaries. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Hi
You need to tell this guy straight, if yuor just freinds, then no more kissing and flirting, its just playing on your emotional strings. I have male freinds, and in no way do they flirt or try to kiss me other than a peck on the cheek!! he say's he only wants to be freinds one mintue, then kissing and flirting the next! its not the way a freind should behave. If you want more than freindship with him, the you need to tell him this, and say if he dont want a relationship with you then the kissing and flirting MUST stop, as you have feelings for him, its hurting you, and your not a toy, he cant just play with you when he feels like , then throw you back in the toy box when his finished. You DO have a heart.....
I hope this has helped
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