A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend and I broke up two months ago, but were still good friends. We hang out regularly and its not awkward at all. He will call me up just to chat, surprise me with dinner and ice cream and even bought me chocolates the other day.We still sometimes sleep together too, but he always initiates it. I sometimes feel a little weird about having sex with him because he broke up with me and doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, but he still wants to sleep with me. He got mad at me the other day because I never start stuff so I told him I felt weird about it but he said he didnt want to hear about feelings anymore (I say how I feel about it a lot).He told me yesterday that he signed up for an online dating site too. I acted like I didn't care but of course I did. I feel horrible knowing he's actively seeking other girls but still sleeping with me. I really care about him and want things to work out between us. I just don't know if continuing to have sex will help or hinder my chances of that happening. He really is a good guy and I understand that what I have written might not make it seem that way but he is. He does all these nice things for me like he did when we were first dating and then he tells me he's looking online. What should I do? Should I still be sleeping with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): Don't sleep with him anymore- it would probably be best to cut him out of your life for good. Having sex with him lets him know he can get all the benefits of being in a relationship such as spending time with you, talking with you about his online dating and other things in his life as well as sex without giving you any commitment. The fact that he is willing to treat you this way proves what his true character is. You need to put a stop to this and start dating other men.
A
female
reader, VaultKeeper22  +, writes (23 February 2012):
 Better stop it. He is taking advantage of you. Having his cake and eating it too.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 He doesn't want to hear about your feelings, yet wants you to initiate sex? It's not enough that he's using you, he wants the "girlfriend" experience too? What an asshat!
You will never get him back. He has lost respect for you, doesn't love you, and is using you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): he's using you as an inbetween. he's attracted to you and knows how you work, and he wants sex and companionship til he finds someone new. if you want to be his inbetween/FWB, go ahead. if not, stop sleeping with him and allowing him to use you.
and just because he's a good guy doesn't mean he wouldn't do that. good people sometimes do bad things.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 February 2012):
 YOu have morphed into FWB...
STOP sleeping with him at bare minimum. Personally I would cut contact all together and make a clean break.
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A
male
reader, Masterofpuppets +, writes (22 February 2012):
 I'm sure that he is A great guy but to me it seems as if he isn't interested in an exclusive relationship it's more of A friends with benefits situation with him. I can tell by what you wrote that you are holding on to the possibility that you might get back together. Here's the reality of it all, if you keep sleeping with him why should he want to change his mind about being exclusive with you? He's getting his milk for free. I can only say that if you want more from him you have to let him know how you feel and take the chance that he may or my not stick around. Just one thing, I hope you practice safe sex if he is looking to see others and finds someone to share the same benefits with and isn't safe it could be disasterous. Hope this helped.
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