A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I have been dating a guy for the past 4 years. For most of the relationship things have been great. I know that I was lucky to find him. We always talk about marriage, kids, where we'll live and other things like that. But, the last year and a half has been kinda rocky, for me. I realized that I didn't know if he was 'the one' for me. I told him this and it has cuased us to break up three times, only for a couple of days at a time then we get back together.He wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But i'm just not sure. I don't know how i'm supposed to know that someone is the one for me. Also, i have been thinking a lot about my ex that i haven't seen for about 3 1/2 yrs now. I have been trying to get in contact with him, but no luck so far. I can't bear to break my bf's heart again. But i feel guilty staying with him when I don't know if hes the one. I don't really know what kind of advice i am looking for here...as this is kinda complicated. I guess I just wanna know if i should stick it out or if I should end it. one last thing, for the last few months my sex drive has been completely gone. thanks to anyone who actually would read a question this long.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (3 June 2007):
I have only been with my boyfriend for two years, and i often wonder if we are right for each other. Or if hes ''the one''. But then i remember that we are only young, and i leave things to see how they turn out. But as you have been together 4 years, your relationship may have run its course. I personally would stick with it, enless i was 100% sure i didnt want to be with him. I find you never know if your going to regret it untill you have finished it.
A
male
reader, mk-stuf +, writes (3 June 2007):
hello i read your artical and i understand fully what your going throught because im going throguht the eaxtcly the same thing with my girlfriend at the moment so if u ever need to talk perhaps we can chat and tell each other our problems as they are similar.
but what you should do is way up the pros and cons about him and then decide what you think is best for you because you shouldnt be unahppy jus to make him happy you should be with some1 who makes you happy and makes it clear they want you.
You should also sit down and tell him that you think theres problems in your relationship and confront him tell him what you want and if he really loves you he will listen and take on board what you said.
hope i have managed to help you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): I just ended a relationship on 5 years as I realized I was too young to commit and my sex drive had been gone for about 12 months. You should take a good long break. Set the time before hand (2 months perhaps). This is fairer to your boy. And cut off contact completely with him and see how you go. Remember you may lose him for good if you do this though.
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (3 June 2007):
I don't really see that the two of you have much going for you. Do you think that 4, more years or even a 100, more years will help you two get it together. You own body is telling you what to do. your no sex drive is making it quite plain that your relationship won't work. So please listen to your own body, OKAY!
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A
female
reader, SusanNLuv +, writes (3 June 2007):
 It seems very unfair to your partner to lead him on as if you were in love with him. If I were him...I would definitly appreciate honesty in this situation. It would seem.. if your mind and your heart still wander...most likely the search is not over for you. Break it off by telling him the truth. He will appreciate it in the end. If you choose not to, you may end up unhappy down the road and be forced to break his heart for good. In that case... in the end you both end up extremely hurt. I would take the time to let him know how great you think he truly is and remind him that there is someone out there for him to love and cherish for all of his days. But also explain that you feel as if it is not you and that it seems unfair to him to continue the relationship further. Good Luck. This is only my opinion. Take time and this through.
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