A
female
age
22-25,
*ettybuttercup
writes: I was with my boyfriend for 44 days. I started dating him over facebook. I didn't know what he looked like so we met up and kept meeting then he asked me out. I dumped him because he was taking drugs, getting garried (a pill you swallow and it makes your jaw swing and gives you lots of adrenaline) and he wouldn't stop. He kept trying to make me jealous by saying he was at raves getting drunk and females were asking him to do sexual stuff with them. It hurt my feelings even though he said he didn't do anything. He is 15. We don't live very close we live about 50 minutes away. I dumped him yesterday and he started crying down the phone. My friend keeps talking about him and I've told her to stop talking about him because it upsets my feelings but she's obsessed with him even though she hasn't met him in person. He wants to get back with me, he told me he'd stop the drugs. He stopped smoking weed for me. When we first got together, we said to each other we'd never leave each other. I didn't mean it tho. I don't know if I still have feelings for him, I started crying after I dumped him. What if he gets with me to dump me so he can make out he was the one who ended the relationship? He stopped putting love hearts before i dumped him too. He keeps saying "I know if you don't get with me again, I'll start smoking weed and getting garried again, you're the only person who takes it off my mind". Is he trying to pressure me? We only see each other on a Saturday and sometimes a Sunday. My mum won't let me out after school because I have to do homework. Should I find someone who lives closer to me? Please help I don't know what to do! Xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 April 2016):
 It is okay to be sad, it is all part of growing up, having fun times and sad times. At least you are smart and you are thinking with your head, you know whats important for your future and that's great. Well done.
A
female
reader, bettybuttercup +, writes (17 April 2016):
bettybuttercup is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou everyone for all your help. I dumped him. I am sad but i know school is my main priority and it will effect my whole life x
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 April 2016):
 Yes, he's trying to pressure you. BIG TIME.
As the others have said, this is emotional blackmail. Do yourself a favour and just block and delete him. There are plenty of losers in the world, so no need to settle for this one.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 April 2016):
 "I know if you don't get with me again, I'll start smoking weed and getting garried again, you're the only person who takes it off my mind"
THAT is full on emotional black mail/manipulation.
Trying to make you think it would be YOUR fault that he started smoking again. IT's NOT. OK? He can make the choice to smoke, or NOT smoke. That is NOT within your "control".
The SAME goes for the :
"He kept trying to make me jealous by saying he was at raves getting drunk and females were asking him to do sexual stuff with them"
If he is trying to make you jealous, he is trying to manipulate you. Trying to make you think that he is "OH so special" that girls are throwing themselves at him. That you should be "grateful" he is dating you... Or that YOU should give HIM sex, so he doesn't get "tempted" by other girls... Which again is a load of BS. He really isn't such a great prize.
You have only been with him for 44 days (aka 1 1/2 month) so I don't think it's quite as "deep" of a relationship, and if you are spending most of the time having this "relationship" over Facebook... then really, how serious is it?
As for your friend, I think it's NONE of her business whether you break up or take him back. SHE is not the one dating him. YOU are.
I think you are better off dating someone you can ACTUALLY spend time with. If you have a lot of school work and home work these days, THAT should be your priority over having a BF.
I think you should TRUST your instincts that he isn't for you. And that you are NOT responsible for him doing or not doing drugs, HE is.
Going by your age (but really ANY age) I would say AVOID guy who are doing drugs, if that is something you don't like. Don't date a guy HOPING he will stop or change for you. That is like buying a bicycle with flat tires and hoping they will inflate so you can ride the bike.
Date someone you share things in common with. Someone who is as UNCOMPLICATED as yourself. This guy?... isn't it.
Wish the dude well, then block, unfriend and delete from phone and Facebook. And if you still have doubts, TALK to your mom. She was young once too, you know? :)
Chin up and be proud that you RECOGNIZED a "red flag" and didn't stop to make excuses about him, but dumped him instead. THAT is a good way of thinking!
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A
female
reader, wrathykins +, writes (13 April 2016):
 You are pretty young yourself, with bags of time to find someone decent. One of the biggest mistakes I made when I was your age was getting too involved with boys and messing up my education. Trust me, it's important.
I would end it completely. A boyfriend that takes drugs is a very bad idea. You might be 100% sure you would never take anything, but being in a relationship with someone that does increases the chances of you going the same way. Peer pressure and all of that. Him saying he would do drugs again if you ended it is not fair of him at all, he's tying to guilt trip you into staying with him. Don't fall for it!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 April 2016):
Sweetie he is emotionally blackmailing you, he is trying to make you feel bad so that you will get in a relationship with him again, this is not the kind of guy you want to be with. You broke up with him because he took drugs and liked to make you jealous, I think you should stick to your decision and ask him to stop contacting you.
Tell your friend to stop talking about him, if she persists and doesn't stop even after you have told her it is hurting you well then she is not a real friend.
Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to your mum about the situation that you are in, or even a trusted adult? You are still very young and you have plenty of time for adult relationships, at the moment try and just enjoy life with your friends, and if you meet someone new who treats you better well then great.
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