A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had a boyfriend who was absolutely lovely in every way, he was the funniest most caring person I could've ever dreamed of, but after 2 and a half years i ended it because I was finishing uni and wanted to go travelling, see the world meet new people etc, just generally do something different with my life before settling down. He on the other hand was about to move into his first house that his mum had bought for him. He was devastated when I left, and made spur of the moment promises like he'd wait for me and there'd always be a place in his house for me. When it started to get easier for him after a few weeks, we started to get in touch with each other regularly, just to see how each other was doing. I next saw him a year later, and told him how much I'd been thinking of him and missing him every day, but by then he already had a new girlfriend and they were living together.Another year on, my feelings for him haven't changed a bit even though he never talks to me now. I've been going out with someone else for 9 months, someone who I've been friends with for years, and though I care for him a great deal I've never felt the same spark I felt with my old boyfriend. I feel like my current boyfriend loves me as much I loved the other, so I can't bring myself to break his heart too. Even though I know there's no chance my ex and I would get back together, as he seems so happy with his girlfriend now, I don't think I can stay with the boyfriend I have when I miss my ex so so so much. I don't know how I'm ever going to forget about that relationship and put another one first.Like I said, my current boyfriend and I have been friends since high school and he's never done anything wrong to me so it would be horrible to hurt him and lose him, but the realtionship just isn't as fulfilling as the one I had with my ex. I really don't know what to do
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female
reader, didda123 +, writes (9 February 2009):
 If you don't feel the same with your current boyfriend i would say that you should end the relationship i know he will be hurt but at the end of the day it is kinder now than ten years down the line.
Does your old boyfriend live near to you and will he be aware of your life as if he feels the same way he may take the opportunity of you being on your own and get in contact with you but i honestly wouldn't approach him when he is with his girlfriend as you seem to think he is happy but who knows on the inside how he is feeling.
I am sure he will still have feelings for you but you don't know how strong his feelings are for his girlfriend and he may get into a situation where he can't decide between the two of you.
I would say his present relationship should end naturally if the two of you have a good chance of building a relationship again.
Maybe have a break from men enjoy your single life and see what happens if he doesn't take the hint maybe the right guy will come along who will take your mind totally off your ex.
Hope things work out good luck x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): personally i am a spontanous person, even though you know that your old boyfriend has moved on i would still tell him how you feel, he might have feelings for you still but holds them back because he thinks you have moved on because well you did end it. you still talk so it might be easier than you think, and as for your new boyfriend, your obviously not suited, so maybe you should think as to whether you really feel like this is going somewhere. its not fair on him in the long run if you stay with him when your not into the relationship. i hope ive helped you, good luck x
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