A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm with this man I have a 2yr old child with him weve had an on and of relationship as he chooses to leave and come back when he feels like it. He's left me for up to 6 months twice he says he wasn't with anyone else but I don't believe him. Now whem he's here I hate him I feel sick and hurt cause I believe if he really loved me he wouldn't leave but he says he wouldn't come back. I haven't been happy for ages and he'll say because I'm a miserable person but I remember before we met being happy. No matter what happens its my fault. He says he don't care either way if were together or not makes me move on and then comes back.last time he left I grew feelings for someone else were much more similar people and I'm more attracted to him I don't want to break up what little family I have or go into someting worse, he's not even said he likes me but I tink I can tell. I don't wanna be insulted anymore and I do believe if he won't love me someone else will. I'm scared of being alone for along time.I don't know weather this other guy is good for me or I just can't bear the idea of being alone. I believe in God and tink he would want us to stay a family I'm really confussed please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010): If you say you believe in God and want to do the right thing, leave this guy and go try to make things work with the one you have more feelings for. There's no use trying to salvage a relationship with someone who shows no love or respect toward you or your child. If he's randomnly deserting you and your baby, you need to kick him to the curb and start standing tall for your child. You have every right to hold your house as your property if he's outright deserting his home and you in it, even if he comes back, after long periods of time. Just change the locks and when he returns tell him to pack his bags because he's no longer welcome, being he's taking on the role of a stranger. If he gives you any problems just call the police. You never have to take that sort of treatment and feel you should try to 'work things out' with him. There's no point in doing so, if he's that uncaringly and useless. Try dating that other guy and if he works out, maybe he'll move in with you and you'll live a way happier life with someone who might offer alot more for your child, as well. Usually I would say to try to work through any problems with your spouse, but this guy doesn't seem to deserve it at all, since he's so uncaring and runs off all the time. There's no family in that, and you have to move on from any feelings of attachment toward him, since he completely and continuously detaches himself from you and your child. If God's waiting with His hand out, take it and don't be afraid to act. Surely, if you believe in God, you've heard the saying 'God helps those who help themselves'? Are you going to wait around until your man goes away for a few months and comes back again, and then does it again? Your child deserves better than to wait on a doorstep hoping for dad to come home, because that was the decided norm to do. Anyone who admits they believe in something has the power to change anything.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 May 2010):
The damage to your child because of this man coming in and out of your life will be so bad, it won't know whether it's loved or not. This guy is suffocating you and destroying you, and it will have a serious effect on your child. Being alone isn't a bad thing. Being with a man who treats you this badly is. That's why you need to end it once and for all. God would want you to think about your child more than your lousy partner.
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