A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do you think my boyfriend is making excuses and isn't committed ?. I have been asking him lately about us going out, but he says he doesn't want to because of his back problem ( he has spondylosis ), and also because he doesn't have much money, but he also said that if we argued less, met up more, and if he had more money, he would go out with me. All that ever happens is that i go to his place,and we just watch tv, sometimes go on internet and do intimate things . I just don't know if i can see myself being with him long term, as staying in his place all the time could get boring, and i doubt we could ever have kids together, as kids wouldn't want to stay in all the time. I feel sorry for him because of his back problem, and because he also has depression, but is it fair on me to put up with this ?. Should i find someone who can/who wants to go out to places ?. Or, am i being cruel expecting him to do that ?. I have met a guy who does want to meet up with me in public, so i'm even wondering if i should dump my boyfriend for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): So basically you've met a new bloke who wants to take you out in public, you want to meet him.
Guilt has set in as your looking to finish with your boyfriend who's not well and won't/can't go out.
At least you haven't cheated on your boyfriend, thats good. If you want to end the relationship because its not working for you, then do it. Do it kindly, and then leave it at that.He isnt your responsibility, his condition IS painful and I completely understand why he doesn't want to go out. But if you just resent him your doing him no favours by staying around.
A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (16 January 2012):
You said a lot, but the ONE THING that sticks out the most is your mention that he has depression.
Please please please for your own sake, don't spend another minute being involved with someone that is depressed. You will get depressed too. And your love will never ever resolve his depression. After all, you are already involved and he is still depressed. And you did not make him depressed, and it is his responsibility, not yours, to move himself out of the depression.
This thing about if you argued less he would go out in public more with you is pure crap.
Try out the new guy.
...............................
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (16 January 2012):
You said a lot, but the ONE THING that sticks out the most is your mention that he has depression.
Please please please for your own sake, don't spend another minute being involved with someone that is depressed. You will get depressed too. And your love will never ever resolve his depression. After all, you are already involved and he is still depressed. And you did not make him depressed, and it is his responsibility, not yours, to move himself out of the depression.
This thing about if you argued less he would go out in public more with you is pure crap.
Try out the new guy.
...............................
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