A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my gf of over 4 years broke up about 6 months ago and went on a break (my choice to break up due to fighting). Since then she has dated another guy for about 2 months. They broke up about a week ago and i started seeing and talking to her again about 3 weeks ago. Since she as broken up with him she has been telling me she loves me and kisses and hugs me pretty much ever night we catch up. This is all fine except for the fact that she is confused about what she wants to do. I ask her most nights if we are going to get back together? (i know i should i just can't help it) she replies different every night. I ask her when are we getting back together and she says "im not sure" or "im confused" then other nights she will say things like soon. Then the other night we are driving and she says randomly "im not sure if we should be hanging out anymore" and i ask her why? and she replies well what happens if i don't want to date you again? then i said to her well tell me now if you don't want to date me so i can start moving on. She just goes "ohh no no im just really confused". The other things she says are I feel numb and i feel heartless like i don't want to date anyone i am always miserable. None of this makes sense... Am i missing some major signals? an why does she kiss me and hug me and tell me she loves me if she is so confused. Thats my first question second question is her "new" ex thought i was funny to tell me in detail about him and my ex having sex and what they did. It was the most painful thing i ever had to listen to so i punched him. My question is I still think about that now when i see her... she lied to me she told me she never had sex with him then he told me she did and i asked her and she admitted to having sex with him. So is it possible to get over those mental images of him banging the girl i love? The final questions... should i or shouldn't i date her. I love her with everything i have.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 June 2010):
 Mmmm...I obviously have no evidence to support my opinion, it's just a gut feeling- but I'd say she is just plain and simple stringing you along. Very probably you are her default option- she is buying time to see of she can find someone else,or maybe get back with your ex,- and she is keeping you as plan B. Also, she also may be one of those (many ) girls who can't quit cold turkey having male attention and all the hugs and kisses and compliments and niceties, so she keeps that going until- in her own good time, she will make up her mind.
My advice is : don't play this game. Get out of it- fast.
Then again, if you had to break up because you were always fighting, what makes you think that after 6 months you two will miraculously find everlasting harmony once you get back together ?
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