A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi - I do not know what to do.This guy and I were friends for four years and we date during five months. We never broke up just stop seeing each other last september. Now he came back to my life after his disappearing act. I realize something changed because now I am always scared he will do it again, so maybe this has something to do with my current feelings.He had the idea of going for a short trip end December and he keeps telling me that he wants to see me and he will send me the dates shortly – just he is snowed with work and blah blah. Reality is he didn’t yet. Sometimes I think he is stringing me along. Sometimes I want to trust him. After all it was his idea and he had plenty of opportunities to send the polite email: Listen, I changed my mind. And even more I do not understand what he would want to achieve with all this. But again, I need to make my own plans and he is not coming back with solid dates.So I was planning to send something along the lines but I am scared that if he is sincere when he says he is sick, haven’t signed off the holidays at work and so on .. he will be upset and he will think I am crazy and overreacting. On the other hand I do not want to wait around. Do you think it is a good idea ?The email I plan to send: "If you do not know yet but you REALLY want to see me then I will wait. If you are just buying time to finally come back with some nonsense just tell me. You never reply when you say you will do and it is getting really annoying and inconsiderate."Just to be clear I just asked him once about this and he told me on Wednesday I let you know tomorrow .. I haven’t hear from him yet !!!Am I being unreasonable ??? Thanks for your opinions.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-actions-speak-louder-than-words.html
Please read the article above, it may cause you to think about your situation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your time and replies.
I do not think I have a low self-esteem but maybe I am more interested than he is. I always trust people but I do not think this is a bad thing despite sometimes I can be fooled. I do not understand when he behaves this way because he is ruined even our memories without accomplish anything in return. If he is not interested it is fine, but as we made plans together I am waiting for him. I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt but after all,maybe he does not deserve it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Move forward - dont be a puppet on a string. You deserve so much more.
Be strong, Close the door on him to allow another to enter. There is always anaother bus.
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A
male
reader, sam44  +, writes (10 December 2010):
You seem like you are interested in him more than he is in you. You might have to focus on forgetting this guy for your own good. Your email shows how much of a considerate and caring person you're... send him the email and see if he replies. If he doesn't or if he gives you an excuse... just take control and move on, its hard i know but just do it for yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010): You're being unreasonable? NO. You are wanting a good relationship..which requires good COMMUNICATION. If he really cared about you,he'd considor your best interests..and wouldn't expect you to put your life on hold for him. I've been through the same..don't worry. My result,I realised that I was just being used as a stand by,for when he wasn't away. Regardless of wether your man is, or is not doing the same thing,does not matter. The bottem line is that he doesn't seem to be RESPECTING you nor taking your "relationship" seriously. If your relationship was all that good,you wouldn't find yourself asking others about what THEY think about your circumstance. Think about it please. You really don't deserve to be messed around with..you should work on building up that low self-esteam of yours! Please don't think that im attacking you and/or coming up with random conclusions..because I just want to remind you about the reality of your relationship. Outsiders can often see things from a more clear open-minded perspective. I really hope that this helps. Best of luck! Xx
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (10 December 2010):
 Move on. He doesnt need to grant you permission. You dont even have to tell him. Do what you what you want, if he comes around then great. If not then oh well.
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