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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I split up with my boyfriend 15 months ago. He was the love of my life. We slept together twice after we broke up. He then met someone else in Jan and she moved into his house for four months. They split up after she began going through his phone and calling me. When they split up, we became even closer and I had so many mixed signals from him that last month, I decided to tell him how I felt. I told him that if we could not get back together again, I could no longer be friends because I loved him and it hurt so much. He admitted that he had feelings for me, but wouldn't get back with me. I didn't call him for a week until I got very drunk and rang him. He said that I should remember he has feelings and it was like splitting up all over again. He dumped me in the first place!! I spoke to him last week, and to put it in a nice way, he was rather horrible to me about his upcoming birthday and said that he never text me Happy birthday this year because I was being a bitch. I want to send him a card/text him Happy Birthday so much and I know it will bug him if I don't do either, especially when I mentioned that I would send him a card. Shall I do it or just ignore him??? It's pathetic I know, but I want him to know he can't treat me like an idiot and expect me to be there all the time. I also want him to realise that yes, maybe he does miss me. But on the other hand, I want to send a card because I want to be above all the pettiness!!! What would people do. I may have painted him rather badly, but he's not all bad.
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male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 You told him you did not get back together then you could no longer be friends and then contacted him. I don't think you meant what you said, do you? You gave him an ultimatum, and he didn't bite. Now he sees you as desperate to get back with him. You are in a weak position, and have lost your control. Get your control back. Do not send him a card. Assume like you are moving on and stop contacting him. If time goes by and he realizes he wants you back then wait for him to contact you and go from there. Oh and live life and be happy, it's too short not to.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Don't send the card, in fact I wouldn't call or text him anymore. He doesn't really treat you all that well does he? Time to start looking for someone who will.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 I know he's not that bad. And you're good, too.
I don't think it's a good idea to send him a card. He is trying to move on, and so should you. He obviously had good feelings for you all the time, but those feelings are gone, and it would not be wise to insist on them.
I'm being very brief and maybe harsh, but these are the bare facts you need to face. It's the best for you. Your best friend is not the person who tells you only the pretty things you want to hear.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (26 July 2007):
 I think you should. But do not expect for him to come running and for you guys to live happily ever after, send him a card out of the kindness of your heart not b/c you want to win him back. Who knows maybe he will one day wake up and realize he misses you but accept the fact that he may not.
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