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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 22 years old and a past college instructor (of a school I still attend) got along so well that we kept in touch after the quarter ended and would chat both in person and through email. The instructor (38 yrs old)recently told me that he had some feelings for me, he also made it a point to say that he would never come on to me or make me feel awkward. I realize it is a large age gap and am also wary of the consequences regarding school policy. I told him that I had similar feelings but that it would be in our best interest to leave it at that. I have not heard from him in a week and I am afraid that he is embarrassed or avoiding me. Should I send him an email assuring him that I am not offended or scared? Or do I wait for him to come around? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): I think that would be very mature of you to do that...he will know that you are acknowledging his feelings and fears! Right now it is definitely inappropriate...if you have those strong feelings back then maybe not keeping in touch would be the best thing for you both. What is meant for you won't pass you by and when you are finished school then maybe things will be a little different...it will do no harm to send the mail so that he knows things are not as bad as he might seem and that you aren't offended!
A
female
reader, Anja +, writes (10 May 2006):
 He is probably trying to do the right thing and resist how he feels as it is in quite an inappropriate setting. As you still attend the school it is a bit of a no-no to involve yourself with someone who teaches there, even though he no longer teaches you. He would not want to put his job on the line. No harm to drop him an e-mail, say hi and hope he's doing ok, just emphasise that you know nothing can happen while you are attending the school, that shows your maturity and that there are no hard feelings! Regards the age gap...not a problem really, unless of course he's married...which it sounds like he's not.. You really can't do much more then that unless he either leaves his job, or you leave the school!
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