A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have an eating disorder I thought was very controlled but due to lots of things happening in my life right now it's getting bad again. My Boyfriend lives two hours away and he can tell something is wrong, but he already thinks I'm depressed and I'm afraid to tell him what's going on. I know it seems right to "just be honest with him" but I don't know how he would treat it and I don't want to change his opinion of me. We've only been together a short while and it's a very touchy thing with me. What should I do? I don't think the disorder is bad enough to seek help for it.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 January 2010):
Talk to your boyfriend by all means but please please please don't use him as a mental health nurse. It's not fair on either of you to do that.
An eating disorder is like any other disease.
You wouldn't go to your boyfriend if you got mild bronchitis. You'd see someone who could fix it.
It's the same with this. Go and see someone who is trained on treating this illness, and mention to your boyfriend that you have some food issues, but you don't need to let him know all the details.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 January 2010):
 I agree with Caring Guy - any eating disorder must be treated by a professional, seeking help is critical before it gets any worse. Now I'm not sure what type of eating disorder you have, but both Bulimia and Anorexia can kill you if you leave them untreated - they are incredibly serious diseases and you must go to see your doctor ASAP.
You say you had your eating disorder under control but now its getting bad again - control is one of the most common symptoms of a serious eating disorder. People with eating disorders need to feel that they have control of something in their life when other things around them are going wrong, hence why they control their food intake and all things to do with eating. So if you think you have this under control, the chances are you really dont have it under control and you need to get help for it.
I think you need to see a doctor as soon as possible, then after you have been to see the doc then you can talk to your boyfriend about the problem. If he loves you then he wont be scared away by this and he wont change his opinion of you - he will just be worried about you and will want to help. But the reality is he cannot help you - only you can help yourself along with the aid of a qualified medical practitioner can help you.
The first step of dealing with an eating disorder is to admit you have a problem and then to want to seek help for it. If you are still in denial that you have a problem and you think you can handle it alone - it is only going to get worse and you will end up doing some serious long term damage to your body.
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/Home is a great website and http://www.nedic.ca/ should help you too.
Please do get some help for this, eating disorders are very serious and you need to get some professional help before you do any long term damage to your body.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 January 2010):
Hi there,
Any eating disorder is worth seeking help for, since they can cause serious long term damage. I think you should certainly see a doctor. Whether you tell your boyfriend or not is up to you. He knows something is wrong though, and has asked you to be honest with him. That means he cares about you. Maybe see the doctor first and get checked over, then tell your boyfriend? Coming here was a good start, but it is important you see a doctor for your health. All the best.
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