A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 8 months or so and we've known each other for almost 2 years now. He starting to hangout with this girl about 4 months back and they constantly texting each other all the time. He said that there is nothing between them and that she is just a friend and i truly believe him based on what he has done in the past but i don't think her intention is pure. She constantly asking him to cook her dinner or come over to "chill" and i don't like that. Sometimes we got woken up late at night because she just feels like texting him. When she shows up at his place and i greet her, she totally ignores me completely. What should i do so i can feel comfortable about this issue, should i be worry about her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for these advices, it had been helpful. I have another question, if you would be so kind to answer. How would i get him to understand my point of view? I have tired to tell him that i trust him but i don't trust her but he didn't say anything to that comment...i'm still worry.
A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (8 January 2010):
 I am sorry about what you are going through. These situations always cause great pain to the innocent party. There is no easy way to deal with this. He says she is a friend but without doubt she wants it to be more than friends and is over stepping the mark. If you are a strong character I would suggest just ignoring the situation, acting unbothered and getting on with your own stuff but this is very hard if someone is constantly interfering and won't go away. I actually don't think you need to worry about your boyfriend or his motives but this girl is trying to cause trouble as no decent woman would continuously text someone elses boyfriend.
If you come straight out and ask him not to contact her this will show you to be highly insecure and jealous and ofcourse the thing is no one can ever tell someone what to do or stop making someone do something unless they want to themselves. I have learnt this to my cost over the years!
It is totally unacceptable that she ignores you and this is a point you can legitimately raise with your boyfriend without looking a bit desperate and needy. Other points are that although you realise they are just friends her actions are disrespectful to your relationship and you are not sure that she would like such constant attention lavished upon her boyfriend by another woman if she had one.
The main point with these things is that if your boyfriend is enjoying her texts and visits and doesn't want them to stop you can say or do what you like he isn't going to cut the relationship. Over the years I have tried all sorts of things from ringing the other woman, creating ultimatums, ceasing contact all sorts but none of them work unless the other person genuinely wants to give them up. You cannot control anyone so I suggest you just brazen the situation out by smiling, hanging on to him and making it clear that he is your boyfriend and that you are very happy and that your relationship is very stable so it gives this woman no opportunity to find a way in. If she sees this hopefully she will either meet someone else or grow bored and then will go away.
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