A
female
age
36-40,
*eezy41
writes:I met with this guy at work and we dated like 4 times.I slept with him after a month.Since we both working in the same airlines, we took an advantage and went on a trip. He became sick on the 2nd day and i took care of him. He appreciated and told me i am such a nice person inside in and out. He asked me if i want to be in a relationship after sex, i said yes. Then the reason why he was asking, he wanted to make sure how serious i am and he told me he wants it as well. Last week, we went out then he asked me to go his house which i did. Every time i go, i ended up having sex.Then i texted him once i went home that sex should be 2nd and i want to feel special without having sex. He apologized stating it is his fault. After that day, he was texting me but not that often. To see how i am doing. The weekend is not here yet and he has not asked me to go out.I am leaving out of Country' this monday and he knows that.Here are my questions:1. once i go out of Country, should I tell him that I have a Wi-Fi and if he wants, he can reach me?2: should I ask him to hang out this saturday Since it will be my last day??
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female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (19 June 2015):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionguys, you were all right. i asked him what he did last night. he told me he slept in his girlfriend's house. i texted him, wow, can not believe it. that's crazy and ^^^k you. deleted his pics, his ig and fb.he didn't answer to apologize.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2015): You don't really need to give a play by play for each and every conversation you have with this guy. You have to behave maturely, and show your intelligence; or he will never respect you. He'll sweet-talk you; and just use you for your body. Then on to the next conquest.
I know you like this guy, and may not really be using our advice at the moment. Like many who ask for advice, you really don't accept it; unless it is what you want to hear.
If you really want this guy to prove he actually has feelings; stop being his play-thing. You act as though you don't have a mind around him. Which is how many young women behave when they don't want to spook-away a guy they like. They let him treat them like cheap little playthings, and end up getting hurt; when they finally realize it wasn't real. They feel used and foolish after they sunk their hearts into it for no reason.
I'm afraid you may have to learn things the hard way. You are pushing 30; and should be pretty much aware of a player when you see one. You're on cloud nine around this guy. You'll hit the pavement hard once you snap out of it.
I wish you good luck!
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (14 June 2015):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys, i listened all of you. He called me and texted me if we will play tennis. I said im gonna be busy and outside is too hot. He was like so u replaced me with another boo? Lol. I said lol.
Told him if anything will call him tomorrow to play.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (13 June 2015):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni guess you are right. He texted me today that he wants to pump with him. I didnt understand what he meant. Then i realized he wants to have sex with me. He told me he feels so good when he puts it in. Blah blah.
I will not even text him tomorrow for tennis. What i did do? i thought he was different
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2015): Come on, don't fall for guys using the L-word!!!
Now I know the guy's full of "shit!" I spelled the world out, I usually censor my own profanity! You're getting played, and behaving as naive as a 14 year-old girl!!!
He's using the word "love;" because "simple-minded" people fall for it. You're no fool! You know better than that. My dear, it's about the sex. It's not about you! You'll find when the sex stops, so will the calls and messages.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (12 June 2015):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys, for giving me such a great advises. He texted me around 1am, asking me i don't love him no more. It caught me suprise but it is maybe one of his game. I asked him why he said that. Waiting an answer.
as you guys said, i wont text him during my trip and post pics to fb and ig.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 June 2015):
 Let me begin with something unrelated to your issue, but... may I suggest that both you ( check in agent ) ad he ( gate agent and supervisor ) should STOP texting about your private business during work hours ? Both being jobs of high responsibility which require precision and focused attention to avoid mess ups - and also as a courtesy to the passengers who paid a pretty penny to travel with your airline and therefore deserve your full concentration on THEIR concerns ?....
Back to your question : yes ,from what you wrote it is quite possible that you are more into him than viceversa, I'd say it is evident.
If I and other Aunts are wrong- well, give him time and ease to prove you ( and us ) that we got ir wrong. Stop trying to decode evry single word or look of this guy , and stop tryng to micromanage the situation. He knows that you like him, he knows that you want to see him and not just for sex, he knows that you are staying away 10 days, and he knows how and when to contact you if he is so inclined to do . You do not need to push any further,- you did your part, now let him do HIS. If he acts consistent and boyfriendish, all good. If he acts detached and " out of sight out of mind " - that's good too !, so at least you'll know once for all where you stand with him.
And pay attention to what he DOES, not just what he says. Like, offering to play tennis with you next time you are both off sounds nice and what a bf would do- but then you have to see if he really DOES it, or if the first time you are both off duty... he suddenly comes up with inventive excuses for, after all, ...NOT playing tennis, and maybe settling for a quickie some time late in the day. Talk is cheap, and people are easy to promise things when they want, let's say , ...fidelize a client. Then, let's see if they deliver.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 June 2015):
 Deezy, it's obvious to us and to this guy that you really like him and are doing everything you can to get him to like you back in the same way.
Don't get in touch with him for those 10 days. If he wants to talk to you, he knows how to reach you.
If after the end of those 10 days, he's done nothing to contact you, well, you'll know that he's not into you in the same way you are into him.
As SoVeryConfused mentions here often, time to stop rowing the relationship boat and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (12 June 2015):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha--- since i told him last friday, i wanna feel special without having sex, his actions changed. We worked in the same terminal. I posted like 45min ago saying he didnt come to see me. But as soon as I posted, he came to see me.we were just talking randomly and he asked me to play tennis during the day when we both off. First time, while he was talking, he did not look into my eyes.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (12 June 2015):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionToday, we worked in the same terminal. He texted me where i am at. Then went to the gate cause he is a gate agent and supervisor. I am a check in agent. He asked me if i want him to come out quick to say hi? I said however he wants. Then i called him, he did not answer then texted him to let him know i am leaving. No answer. How can I be a bitch? Why guys like bitches?
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (12 June 2015):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreaciate your advises guys. I am not leaving country forever only for 10 days.
I also got tested and the results came put negative. I guess i liked him more than he did. Maybe you guys are right. He will only see me for the last sex. If he do ask to hang out? Should i make myself available?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 June 2015):
Deezy, this guy is not boyfriend material. I've been looking back at your posts: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-cancel-the-trip-or-not.html
Do not try to see him before you leave. Do not text him when you get there.
You have a crush on a player. A loser.
What do your friends think?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 June 2015):
Hi deezy, if I were you, I'd stop chasing him. You went on that trip together which was a disaster: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-understand-that-he-was-unwell-but-why.html
He knows you like him and that you are available.
If I were you, I'd spend my time with friends who love me and will miss me and post lots of pictures of great times with them and ignore him.
He knows where you are and what's happening in your travel plans and life.
There are alternative condoms not made of latex which should not irritate you. Please do go see your gynecologist when you can.
When you say you are going out of the country, does that mean you are moving, or is that just a work trip and you'll be back soon?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015): Hang out this weekend. I have a feeling you're not going to be hearing from him that much anymore anyway. Don't incur any expensive long-distance phone expenses. See if he misses you enough to try to reach you without you asking him to. Limit use of free wi-fi when you travel; you leave yourself wide-open for phone cloning and internet viruses.
A colleague's daughter went to Jamaica to start her part-time summer job at a club. He owns a business there and planned to meetup with her later. Somehow they ended up with thousands of dollars in calls to Jamaica from Trinidad on her phone bill!!!
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (11 June 2015):
 I think you've posted here before...In all honesty, I would just wait for him to make the move. He KNOWS when you will be leaving.. IF he wants to see you, he will contact you, which I feel he probably will contact you last minute for one last sex session. You are not leaving the country indefinitely right? You will return, right? Why the need to tell him you have WiFi and text him when you arrive at your destination. LET HIM REACH OUT TO YOU!Don't act too eager, because next thing, you're gunna complain about how you have to do everything in the relationship.Let him contact you and enjoy your time away from the country!!!
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