A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, a few years ago I was at a friend's birthday party. I was several weeks post-break up and very narrowly missed possible rape that evening. I was very shaken up. There was a friend who started comforting me - we talked through the night before this happened. We ended up kissing and stayed together the next day, kissing and cuddling.Then we went our separate ways. He tried to contact me, but I ignored him because I had a big dilemma. I already fell in love with some other guy who wasn't interested in me. I really liked this friend, but... In the end I decided it wouldn't be even fair to pursue a relationship while I'm in love with someone else anyway and went on trying my luck with this other guy over and over again. I didn't really see the guy I was kissing since (until recently) because he was a friend of my ex and I fell out of that circle.Fast forward to now. I'm in a great relationship, things are wonderful and all even after the two years we're together. And I got friendly with a girl, we see each other quite often. And... turns out she's this guy's girlfriend. We three sometimes meet, sometimes we (and a few other people) go for a trip or something. I was even left sleeping in a tent with him due to some organizational stuff. We were just chatting, he could have been a she and it wouldn't make a difference (well, I'd probably get close for heat with a she and didn't with him), but I feel sort of uneasy towards his girlfriend, like she should know that this happened... On the other hand wouldn't it be just stupid to make waves like this, it's not like there is even a vague possibility of anything actually happening at this point...
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (27 October 2015):
I agree, let this go. This was a very long time ago. There is nothing between you now and, frankly, it was only a bit of a kiss and a cuddle anyway. Neither you nor he have done anything wrong so there isn’t anything his girlfriend needs to know. Leave it and move on. He clearly has and so should you.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2015): It's just that if I were at her place and knew, I wouldn't trust us together as much as she does. I actually thought that when I wrote this, people will accuse me of being a liar, being very dishonest with her, and that I have no business associating with them and that I've done something really bad by being close to them. It's probably because it meant a lot to me at the time, even if my decision didn't reflect that. Also the thing with the other guy turned into something really ugly. Thinking back, it was wrong - not because I was so into my friend, but because I should have known better and not get blinded by my vision of that other guy as a god-like figure in my life... Sure, if it wasn't for that, I'd never meet my current boyfriend, but I'd also spare myself a lot of pain and destruction...
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (27 October 2015):
I don't understand why your even contemplating telling his now gf about an incident that didn't really merit that much attention .. you sat one night kissing and cuddling and told him you didn't want to continue with the possibility of anything between you both ..You moved on it didn't work and years later find him dating a Co worker/friend .. does it matter .. as a mental health nurse .. I would say a definitive no .. For all you know; he has forgotten all about it .. I would if I were you wondering how happy I was if I thought I should tell someone about a situation years ago.. I can speculate why I may think you would but that's not my place here to say Leave it be .. be happy for them .. develop your own relationship and let it go Take care sweetie
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (27 October 2015):
 You should let this go and not awake ghosts of the past. The episode might have been significant only that one night but as your actions following the kiss-hug explains its long term consequence: you turned your back on it, and you yourself left it aside as something that isn't worth being pursued. So why pursue it now? His GF was not even part of his life at the time so what goodness would be added to all 3 of you if she was to find out the details of something that's she wasn't remotely associated with.
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