A
female
age
30-35,
*oughtiger
writes:So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and 4 months. We've had many up's and down's in the past and my friends think that I could do better but when they see that I am happy or I tell them that I am happy, they are fine with it and don't interfere. For a very long time he didn't have a job, and I was the one you paid for many, many things. It would upset me because he could never pay for anything, but on the otherhand, I just thought "well I do love him a lot so I'm okay with paying for things". Anyways, we have broke up few times because he said he wants to get his life together, get a job, so on and so forth, so that he would be able to take care of me and take me out and stuff. So I thought it was a good idea too. I was upset because I thought maybe he would find someone else while we were broken up or that he might try and talk to other girls on facebook, because it's happened in the past before. He's also broken up with me before during our senior year because of someone else and started dating her. They only dated for a week. Then he came back to me and we started dating again. Anyways, we just got back together about a week ago, he found himself a job, and he's been working this week. I've been really proud of him and excited because I believe things will be better for us. But today, he left his facebook up on my laptop because he forgot to log out and I saw that this past Sunday he was messaging a girl about how they used to go to school together and stuff and at the very end he says stuff like "i would have caught you" and she said "what do you mean?" and he said "you would have been mine" and then he was like "text me" and gave her his number. Mind you, he didn't get the job til Tuesday. And that message happened on Sunday but we were together then. This past Friday I had spent close to 200 dollars on him on clothes because he really needed it. Then he ends up saying something like that the girl. He doesn't act different around me (like he doesn't love me or anything) he still is around me all the time. I haven't seen anything more from that girl on his facebook nor have I seen anyone suspicious text his phone since then. He is around me all the time unless he is working. And when I go to work he stays at my apartment and sleeps. Should I be worried about this message and bring it up to his attention? or am I being too concerned about it? I can't talk to any of my friends about it because they don't necessarily think he is the best guy for me because messed up situations have happened in the past with us. But should I say anything when he gets home from work or just let it go and see if I find anything else in these upcoming weeks? It really hurts my feelings that he would do something like that anyways behind my back, at my house, on my computer. I'm just really confused and need help. Please! Thank You!
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 September 2010):
 You're not going to like what I'm about to say.
Your boyfriend is a loser. You will break up again. Why you keep taking him back is beyond anyone's comprehension. Sure you love him, but really, he is not good for you. You've more or less taken care of him for the last couple of years, and he thanks you by flirting with some other girl online. Even if nothing came of it, that behavior isn't that of someone who should be trusted. It is also not the behavior of someone who respects you. You know why he doesn't respect you? Because he can walk all over you and you'll keep coming back.
He leaves you for another girl. You take him back
He leaves you to "get his life together. He fails. You take him back.
He starts a new job and you buy him a new wardrobe. He flirts with another girl and you're trying to convince yourself it's nothing.
Please quit being this guys doormat. I know what I said sounds mean, and that I "Can't possibly understand." The truth is that I do understand. I've been walked on like this. It never gets better. You'll spend more and more time wondering and hurting.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 He may have just mentioned this to the girl completely innocent but yes it occ course is going to hurt you yet maybe to him it is completely harmless, yet i think you should tell him about this as its clearly hurt you and made you suspitious and if you dont be honest with him now you will soon start finding yourself checking his phone and his faceboook and this is an invasion of privacy and is'nt right. He is intitled to his privacy so be open with him its the best way. I hope there is a good explenation and things work out well because if you start getting paranoid this will progress in to something nasty and in the end you will drive him away by checking up on him so next time you see him tell him. Also now he has work dont be giving him anymore money let him take you out and spoil you now.
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