A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok ! I PRETTY MUCH know what im doing when it comes to men . I was married to the BIGGEST and WORST kinda PLAYER in the book ! I got involved with him at the age of 15 and married him at 18 and divorced him at 33 im now 36 . Ive learned ALOT and been through ALOT being married to this awful man ...ive even answered somethings on this web site ( i can relate to ,and i have two teen boys , so alot ive been there ) BUT .... the guestion i have is difficult for me to figure out .. so here goes ... I wrote in last week asking about this guy that ive been hanging with ( rather to make the first move or not ) we talk every day and he has been over for dinner and ive been to his house ! he did make his move and we ve " made out " lol if thats what us older people want to call it ??? OK ! IM a pretty attractive woman ( not being conceited cause im not at all , very down to earth " cool girl " type ) but this guy is SOOO HOT im trying to figure him out ( is he a player or not ) he is a very attactive body builder and has EVERYTHING going for him ( between his legs if you know what i mean lol )Normaly , I WOULD RUN from these type of men ... but he seems so different and we hit it off very well ... he says he very insecure about his body and never takes his shirt off at the lake ,ect ... ( and he is so built he has no reson to feel this way ) I guess my guestion is , SHOULD I RUNNNN ????? IS HE JUST A DIFFRENT KIND OF PLAYER THAT IM NOT FAMILURE WITH???? Im realy falling for this guy , and i want to stop it NOW if he s a BAD BOY ! HELP ME OUT HERE PLEASE !!!! IM SOOO SCARED TO FEEL THIS WAY AND MAYBE GET HURT AGAIN !
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 December 2007):
 You say he's too good. What makes you think that way. What if he felt that way about you? Did you know you're looking at him in a different way than he looks at himself? I remember when I watched a segment on GMT and they talked to Kenny Chesney. He had been named the #1 sexiest male in country music. When asked about it he said "I look at myself naked every day, and that never crossed my mind." He may be real sexy to you, but living with himself every day, He may not look at himself the same way you do.
There was something else I watched years ago which was pertaining to extremely good looking women. They were talking about how they were lonely and wanted a date for the weekend. They were irritated that they were never asked out and the reason behind that was perception. Men thought they were either too good for them or all ready taken.
Looks are only looks, underneath the physical is an actual person.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 Hey there,
the other poster is right, just because your last man was a player it doesnt mean all of us are players.
The thing is to take it easy with him, hang out , date , make out do what you wanna do, there's no law suggesting you have to live with each other instantly or whatever, enjoy each other's company and have a blast . Its easy to say I know, but why not allow yourself to have some fun for a change. Only when you get to the stage where you want a long term committment should you be worried whether he is a player or not? And even then you shouldn't assume you are going to make the same mistakes you made as an 18 year old.
You are older,wiser and more enabled to make decisions which are to your benefit. Trust your judgment, you are attractive and in your 30's you are at the best age for a woman ( my wife is 33 and damn it she's never looked so hot ) so for most men you are a fine looking proposition .
I realise you cant stop yourself falling for someone even if you try, but at the end of the day if he turns out to be a player you will be able to examine what attracts men like these to you and try and avoid them in future. But that's a worse case scenario. And,moreover, there is only one way to find out and that's to continue to see him .
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (7 December 2007):
 Well, just because you've made one mistake does not necesarily mean you'll continue to make them. Dont assume he is a player just because you've had one before. People can be different and if you keep assuming the worst out of someone, you'll end up losing the opportunity of having the BEST thing there could be. Give this guy a chance. Dont judge anyone because of your past experiences. Good luck!
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