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age
30-35,
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writes: Hi, im 24 years old and I'm in a relationship with a guy for 4 years now. I love him and can't see my life without him, but I've fallen for my best friend who is a girl. She is my life, I love her so much, and we cant go a day without talking to each other. We had sex one night while we were drunk. I really enjoyed it, and I'm pretty sure she did too. We are both bi-sexual and she still flirts with me, but always says I'm her sister, and makes it seem like she would never be in a relationship with me. But she'll flirt, and show me pictures of herself naked, or look at me and smile like she likes me. She also has a boyfriend who she's been dating for a few months. She always tells him that I come first, no matter what, and jokes around and tells people I'm her soulmate and I know she means it. You cannot get any closer than me and her. The only time we have the courage to hit on each other is when we are drinking. We agreed we would never hook up again because we don't wanna ruin how close we are. I would love to be with her but I don't know if she feels the same way, and is just denying it to herself. She tells me she is soo happy with her new boyfriend and calls him perfect, but then will over think the simple things and will say she wants to break up with him. I would never have the nerve to tell her I am in love with her, but I'm sure other people can tell. I'm always buying her things when I go out, and I always have her on my mind and talk about her as she does with me too. When we are together we're inseparable and we have so much fun together, but it's come to the point where I can't stop thinking about her and I want to tell her how I feel, but I'm afraid she will get creeped out and not feel the same way. What should I do? Should I tell her and risk our friendship, or hold it in and keep this a secret?
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female
reader, lilly123  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 you should follow your heart and tell her how you feel
feelings like that shouldnt be hidden and it sounds like she feels the same but maybe she's just affraid of what it will mean for her life which is why she said it shouldnt happen again but you can deal with that together.you have to follow your instincts with this kind of thing so be honest about how you feel
i know your scared of loseing her but dont the pros of being together outway the cons of not?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Follow your heart!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): Think about the alcohol and what it does to you and what you want to be in your life.
Excerpts from your post:
"while we were drunk"
"we have the courage to hit on each other is when we are drinking"
So, are you doing this because you are drunk, and when sober you are in denial, or are you in denial when you are drunk and doing what you really want when you are sober?
Get the alcohol out of the picture, completely, from both of your minds.
Take this test, perhaps both of you should.
http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
Also, if there are other drugs involved, keep that in mind a well, alcohol is just a drug, all drugs alter perceptions and while people think Marijuana is "harmless", it isn't as it can cause paranoia, altered thinking and interpretations, and other problems.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 I vote for telling her. The longer you hold this in the worse it will get. If you tell her and she doesn't feel the same, I doubt that she would freak out about it. The fact that you two had sex leads me to believe that your feelings are returned, at least on one level. I wouldn't pop out with "I love you" though. I would tell her how much she's on your mind and it's making you want to try something with her. See how she reacts.
I'm afraid to say this, but you aren't all about your BF as much as you claim. It's ok, but you need to figure out which relationship is more important to you.
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