A
female
age
51-59,
*ety
writes:The man I'm interested in this time I think that he doesn't really show a real interest in me. He behaves to me very friendly but without any comment for relationship. I am flattered from his friendly interest but I get anxious that there is nothing more as I would like.I think that maybe he knows that I would like to be with him. Should I say to him anything or just leave this situation as it is because if he is not interested I don't want to put him and me(of course) in the difficult position of rejecting me. In any situation I wouldn't risk to lose him and as a friend. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Pety +, writes (5 March 2014):
Pety is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your answears. I found them helpful. As i see it's better not say anything about my feelings and just behave in a clearlt friendly way at least until i can tell that there is something romantic from his part.
A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (4 March 2014):
 You like this guy, but you're unsure if he likes you romantically? You haven't said if you hang out together or work together. It's a hard decision, because you don't want to lose him as a friend if you tell him you want to be something else. What I'd do is ask him out for coffee and emphasise that it's 'just as friends'. If he says yes, maybe another time you can invite him to a movie or go for a walk, just as friends. That way you might be able to determine if he does like you, if he doesn't then you haven't broken the friendship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): Is he a friend, or just friendly? You are being unclear.
Are you just fixated on some guy who hardly knows you exist? You just have friendly chats and meet in passing?
If a man doesn't show you the least-bit interest, and you just want to be with him. Why bother? Seems you are just charmed by his appearance, and getting carried away.
Telling him you're interested romantically would only make the situation awkward; if he is just some guy you see around. If he isn't attracted to you in a romantic way,it doesn't make any sense telling him you are.
If you just want to get it out in the open, be prepared for whatever response you get. Then be prepared to move on, if it's not what you wish to hear. I know some are going to say make the first move. I don't think that is wise. I think you already know he isn't interested in you.
How would you risk his friendship by saying you are attracted to him? It sounds to me like you have a crush on a man you hardly know, who is just polite to you.
Keep your feelings too yourself; if a man is not equally reciprocating a vibe that he is romantically attracted to you. You don't really want to be in the friend-zone; so don't pretend you do just to be around him.
How long can anyone live like that?
That is being friend's under false-pretense. It's deceptive. That is trying to circumvent the fact he is not romantically attracted to you; but you're trying to find an excuse to hang around him.
You'll only get jealous the minute he finds someone he's romantically or sexually attracted to. So you either become a real friend, or distance yourself to give your heart enough space to detach.
If friendship just isn't enough, don't punish yourself waiting in vain. Some people obsess for years and years. Spending their lives yearning for someone who doesn't feel the same. That is unhealthy. Agonizing.
All that time wasted, while real prospects come and go. They foolishly cling to people totally immune to their romantic feelings.
Remember this. You will be letting people meant for you, pass you by.
When men come along who do visibly and unquestionable like you, and you ignore them. Time passes with those opportunities; and will punish you for it.
We often want most what we can't have. Stubbornly waiting for it, is paying a high price. Waiting costs time.
If you need to get it off your chest, do so. Then be ready to accept if he doesn't feel the same. Don't cling using friendship as the reason; if that isn't what it really is. If he feels uneasy, he'll probably distance himself anyway.
...............................
|
