A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a bit of a predicament. I have been in a lesbian relationship for the past year and I am more than happy and really feel like I've met who I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. She says that she feels the same. The only problem that I have is the way that we met. I started talking to her online/through texts a few months before we met. When we met we were not going out or involved exclusively. After our initial meeting we didn't see each other for two weeks.The problem is that my partner was with a man for 7 years before me. I didn't know at the time that we first started talking or the first meeting that she had a boyfriend at all. After our initial meeting we didn't see each other for two weeks. I have found out that during these two weeks she was still sleeping with him, and probably hadn't broken up with him, or was in the process of doing so.When I ask her about it she says that it's really difficult to explain. She says that she loved him but wasn't in love with him and is more than happy now that she is with me. She has no contact with him anymore and everything is perfect between us, other than my hidden resentment!I just don't understand how she could sleep with him during that two week period when she says that she felt something for me? It makes me question everything basically. I just want to get more opinions on this as I can't work out whether I am being unreasonable or whether I have something to worry about! This worrying is the only thing that is not perfect between us!Thanks, any advice is greatly appreciated!!
View related questions:
lesbian, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (4 March 2014):
The way I see it is, how could she have cheated on him with you if she still LOVED him?
"Feeling something" doesn't prevent you from sleeping with someone else. I think you're making a big deal out of this for the wrong reasons. What I'd be worried about if I was you is the fact that you're in love with a cheater.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2014): You're not being unreasonable, I hate when people do that. I just cannot be a with a person who starts dating before they've left their last relationship.
The reason it's "difficult to explain" is that she cheated o him with you effectively.
Now you understandably only care about what it means for her to have still been with him while also saying she had a thing for you. What you may not see is the biggest problem with that is she can do it to you too.
I bet her ex had no idea she was no longer in love with him or that she was on the market for a new person, so you will always have that in the back of your mind. For all you know she could be looking elsewhere right now and pretending everything is fine and even continuing to sleep with you like nothing's amiss.
Now to answer your worry directly. How can she sleep with him when she says she felt something with you? Sex is just sex, you don't have to be in love with some to fuck them and you can even be in love with someone else and fuck another person, it makes no difference.
You do have reason to bit paranoid though, OP. "Difficult to explain" is only ever thrown out there when the truth is bad. You see the truth is always easy to say, the only time it's not is when the truth is something you won't like to hear.
...............................
A
female
reader, lEdeeIy  +, writes (4 March 2014):
She's lieing about something...She even cheated on you...Sit down with her and talk to her...ask her to try to explain this "THING" which is hard to explain...get her to tell the whole truth....Then its all up to you if you forgive her or you leave you......Best of wishes...
...............................
|
