A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined into oneI have been aware for 15 years that my first and only real love has been trying to find me. The only link he knew to me was my mother and she would tell me he contacted her, but she would not give him my info because she thought it would just be "trouble". Thanks to the internet, he found me and sent me an email last week. Our relationship ended 20 yrs ago because his family did not approve for religious reasons. We have communicated every day via email and now phone as well and are planning to see each other soon. The feelings I have for him have never faded and he claims the same. I have never connected with another person like with him. I am married to "the rebound guy" who is completely in love with me, but I have never been more than loving friends with him. Sex is not enjoyable for me with him. My first love is also unhappily married. We both feel like we owe it to ourselves to see each other and not miss our chance to see if we are truly soul mates as we have always believed. Should I deny myself this one last chance?I married a man 20 years ago who was in love with me while I was rebounding from the love of my life. I was hurt and decided that being with someone who thought I was the love of his life would be good enough, since he would treat me well. I have felt for 20 years like I am married to my friend, but never my love. I feel like I am missing the passion and feelings that I deserve and have denied myself all of these years. We have 2 children ages 18 and 16 and I don't want to hurt any of them, but I feel stagnant and numb. My husband has always been aware of my feelings and says he is just happy he has me and will do anything to make me happy. I don't want to break his heart, but I am not getting any younger and feel like I want to find what is missing in my life. Should I stay or should I go?
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soul mates, soulmate, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): It would suck to be your husband right now.
He's given up his life to be with you and you agreed to marry him with the associated vows....
You have to tell him EVERYTHING right now. I dont know if you have already but i'd be destroyed if i found all the emails between you and the other guy.
The question of should you go or stay really should be asked to your husband i think? What does he think you shoul do? Ask him.
A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (15 August 2010):
Hi,
A similar thing happened to me recently...my 1st love tracked me down after 30 yrs!! ( you can see my question on here.)
Long story short. Sally is married now & has 4 kids!! I am single. We met..got on very well. After such a long time apart, I was prepared for a completely diff person. Some things are diff...but she is still fundementally the same..a little older and has had much sadness now in her eyes. Saying good nite was as difficult now as it was then. But I only kissed her on the cheek. She has called me several times since we met and she wants to meet again soon.
I guess that you have to prepare for the worst when you meet him. You are both pottentially diff people now. what you had then maybe VERY diff to now.
I dont want to have an affair with her, I just want to find out why she has tracked me down (via facebk & Friends Reunited) and make sure she is ok. Her actions lead me to beleive that she is not.
I would be becareful not to rush into anything...too many loved ones could get hurt.
Good Luck and let us know how you get on
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