A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't really a relationship problem but I would be very grateful for any advice offered. Basically I suspended my uni studies last year due to personal problems and I'm torn between going back or not. I'm worried if I do go back the same thing is going to happen again, and if I don't go back then later on in life i'm going to regret it. I'm in a full time job and I really enjoy it and the money side of it to. I'm also in a long term relationship and a little part of me is worried uni may come in the way as it did last time, I don't think it would but there's always that 'what if'. I wanted to ask people on here because they don't know me so they can give an outsiders point of view rather than my parents and friends etc. Thank you :)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 can you go back part time?
that's what I did after I dropped out in 1981 I went back in 1990... it took me TWENTY-THREE YEARS total to get my degree but I did it... part time at night...
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 I can tell you based on my experience, anyone that does not return to university in their youth, rarely gets the chance to do it later in life. It has nothing to do with how interested the person is in the education, or how much they need it or don't need it for their careers. It has to do with less energy and less opportunity for time as a person gets older.
You have an energy at your current age, that as you get older, may not be there. This could be due to personal health habits, or you might even get sick in a few years with something that would not allow you the freedom to study again.
Over the next few years, you might be looking at buying a house, having a kid, or other expenses that make going to university, even part time, too much of a risk.
If you have the chance to return now, and get yourself a professional title degree, that would help you earn a better living, go for it now, before life gets more complicated for you.
At my current situation, I need to go back to school to get my professional title for my career, and I STILL have to put it off due to obligations and a situation that I did not anticipate. I simply can not afford to take the year off. Please, if you have the chance to make it happen now...take it.
Your current relationship can not be a consideration for your future. If your current relationship is the one to rely on for long term, it will absolutely survive you doing what you need to do for your best interest. If not, that means you likely would have ended up divorced anyways.
-Frank
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (11 October 2012):
 I personally think you should give uni another shot. You have a job and money now, so it feels comfortable, but the job market isn't that stable. You'll be able to access better paid jobs, and more jobs, with a degree behind you. I know 3 years seems like a long time, but it isn't really. You can still work part time while you're there so you have some spending money. I had a cleaning job for a couple of hours each evening, and it really helped.
The only thing I'd caution though is to make sure in your mind that you really enjoy your course, and like the university you're at. If not you could think of transferring, maybe to a university close to home so you still have your family, friends and boyfriend nearby. I don't know what your personal problems were, but it might help (I made the mistake of choosing a uni hundreds of miles from home!).
You can go back to uni later in life of course but I think it's harder.
Good luck whatever you decide.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 Did you solve your personal problems ? Has the issue that caused you to quit been taken care of ?... If so, do go back to uni. You only tried once, I think you need to at least give it a second try before deciding that ini is not for you. As for the money, .. chances are that once you have finished your education this will help you find an even better paid job.
The boyfriend... well, I was going to say : boyfriends come and go but an education will stay with you for life, but I know that a young girl in love will not listen to this line of thinking.
So I say : sooner or later, every r/ship meet challenges. Distance. Work. Illness. Family members. You name it. Loving each other also means that you can, and want, overcome your challenges together. The relationships that only can last in best optimal conditions... will sink anyway sooner or later, because they are rooted in selfishness and superficiality.
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A
female
reader, lucy.whittaker +, writes (11 October 2012):
 I was in your exact same position this time two years ago. I left Uni and after a little while thought about going back. For me, I decided not to. Purely because I wasn't ready. When it comes to Uni there is no rush to get a degree. You can go back and study at any point in your life, or take a part time course while you work if you enjoy what you do now. The worst thing to do would be to go back and endure all that upheaval just to discover your are still not in the right place in your life to make it work. And if you feel like you would be ready to study again there is the relationship to consider. I had a long distance relationship for the last 4 months that I was at Uni before I left and I'm not going to fluff it up, it was awful. I was lonely, isolated and insecure. Now I don't agree with changing your life for a relationship, if it works around who you want to be then that's fine. I made that mistake when I went in the first place. On the other hand you have to be sure you are going to be happy. If you had to leave before then you need to picture the worst case scenarios and work out if you could still be able to study with it happening around you.I've now been working for 2 years and I'm starting to feel as though I'd be ready to start again. But this time I'm looking close to home and will be living with my boyfriend. I want to be an English teacher someday and I need a degree to do it. If what you want to do in life doesn't need a degree (experience is worth so much at the moment) then consider if it's really with the expense. If it is, good luck! Follow what feels right and don't be too hard on yourself.Lucy XxX
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