A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:On June the 25th 2007 I got my first taste of heartache. My long distance girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. I felt the worst pain of my entire life on that day, and I never felt that I would recover. It was the worst time of my entire life.Now, almost 2 and a half years later, I have fallen in love again with somebody else. Before I felt these feelings I never felt like I could even talk to my first love ever again, but now I feel much more at peace. I feel like I could pick up the courage to speak to her without breaking down. Is this something I should do, I should I keep her in the past?From my point of view nothing positive or negative could come from talking to her, but outside perspective would be nice. I don't mind saying that for the past couple of years I have been convinced that she was the only girl in the world for me, until the past few months where I have dated another.What do you think I should do? Would it be an unnecessary risk to resume contact with my ex? I admit that I am worried that old feelings will uncover themselves if I do, but if I were to contact her, I would feel as though I were getting rid of demons that have been following me for 2 1/2 years now.WHAT SHOULD I DO??
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (24 December 2009):
 Don't mess things up with your current girl by doing this. You might break her heart and then get yours broken in the process. Also, I know you feel happy now, but what happens when you hear from her and all those crazed emotions come rushing back in and you have to deal with them all over? Keep her in the past. Don't make drama where there is none.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 December 2009):
Your ex is the past. Leave her there. Why hurt your new love interest? Why ruin it? I left all my ex's in the past because it was over and that was it. Leave her in the past, move on into the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2009): What would your current girlfriend think of you out of the blue deciding to resume contact with an ex that meant so much to you?
Do you always come up with ways to saboutage yourself and your life when things are going well?
When rereading your question do you not see a person proposing something that could be potentially soul destroying with absolutely no possible positive outcome that outweighs the risk itself?
Look man, snap out of it, you have a good thing going and you're talking about risking it for "piece of mind". Take it from me, like your first love, your first heartbreak never leaves you but it diminishes with time.
If this new girl loves you as much as you love her then she's already well informed on what happened between you and your ex and there is no chance, no matter what she says, that she'd be okay with you getting back in contact with someone who messed you up so badly. Someone you obviously still have feelings for.
Those demons you talk about, do you really think they'll just disappear when you talk to your ex again? It took you 2 1/2 years to get to this point yet your considering bringing all those emotions back.
You're a few months into a new relationship that is not enough time for it to be secure enough for you to risk something like this, so you have to stay strong and keep moving on and you can't do that if you decide to take a step backwards every now and again. It doesn't work like that.
There will be a time in the future when you'll meet her by chance and think "what the hell was I thinking?" and be able to hold your head high and walk away. If you let this occur naturally then things will be fine, stop trying to force the issue, unless of course you miss being being a wholly miserable, lonely mess of a person stuck in the past and unable to see any kind of nice future, if that's what your into then by all means get in contact with her again.
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