A
female
age
30-35,
*wordandredrose
writes:I'm almost 20 and I've never been in a relationship mainly because I'm attracted to much older men (teachers, etc.) But I've recently fallen for someone my age and he's really mature and I think he's the one (he's my close friend and doesn't know anything about it yet). I wanna have a serious long term relationship with him because I know he's a committed guy but on the other hand that means that I'm not gonna be able to go to clubs and bars and live a college life. I'm really outgoing and I love to party but at the same time I wanna settle down before it's too late. I don't wanna lose him either. What should I do? Should I remain single or not?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Well Caring guy said it way better than I ever could but to be honest if you feel it has to be a choice between one or the other... err on the side of caution and go for the college life...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): Well firstly you don't know if he wants a relationship do you, secondly you have years to meet somebody - or maybe him - to settle down with, perhaps the timings wrong just now.
Thing is if you don't party at college,get it out of your system,you may regret it in years to come.But would you regret not taking a chance with him more?
Nobody but you can answer your question really
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 August 2011):
Slow down there - having a boyfriend doesn't mean that you can't have a college life in terms of parties, going to clubs and bars and all that. It just means that you have to manage your time more effectively so that you do the things you want, and so that you do things as a couple. It also means that you obviously can't see other men.
If you really like this guy, then it's a case of managing your time, making time for him and yourself, and truly being committed. That's not as hard as it seems. It takes planning, and it takes commitment, it takes understanding.
However, if for one moment you think that you can't make that commitment, then remain single. Because if you can't commit to him, if your aren't willing to accommodate him into your life and make changes, then he's not the one.
If he's the one you think he is, then manage your time and stay committed to him and you'll be able to have that college life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): I wouldnt worry about it to much,as you say you are not 20 yet-so dont feel the need to rush into things like heavy commited relationships, let it happen naturally. If you feel you will be missing out on clubs etc then clearly you should just relax and continue to have a good time and live life to the full for a bit more first.Theres no hurry to settle down (everyone does it way to fast these days anyway) however on the other hand if you really like this guy and he feels the same theres no reason why you have to stop going to clubs and parties, simply make it a night out with both of you, stay in a few nights as well so he doesnt think you are one tracked on parties-lol, but by all means intergrate your life style with him, if he is interested in having a realtionship with you he will be more then happy to share your interests with you.takecare and good luck
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