A
female
age
51-59,
*enise305
writes:I have been dating the same guy for almost 10 years. The first 2 years were pretty good, but I guess I always felt like he thought I wasn't good enough for him. He lost his job 2 years into the relationship and then he asked me to move in with him. I did, but then he made no move to try to get a job. This guy has most of a PhD...but he told me that his degrees were useless (Electrial Engineering)...and about the time that we (he) started to have the house forclosed on, he started mowing people's lawns for a living.We hung on for about 8-9 months, but we started to have the house forclosed on and I moved out (with my 2 kids - then aged 4 and 6) and got an apartment. I ended up letting him move in with me because I felt sorry for him. He quit filing his taxes even though I offered to help him. I almost completed supported us on an admin's salary. He was always depressed, and cried a lot. I was afraid it was hurting the kids. After a couple more years, I asked him to move out. I know that he was depressed, but I couldn't help him and he refused to see a therapist. When he moved out, he got his act mostly together. He still wasn't filing his taxes...but he got a job delivering pizzas and quit mowing lawns. I moved into a house and he was always coming by and helping out (mowing the lawn, bringing over pizza at dinnertime). He eventually got promoted several times and became a store manager. After a couple of years, I got back together with him and felt like he was on the mend. I let him move back in. Things have been on the downswing again since he moved back in. I feel like he has slid back into the same cycle of depression. He has talked about quitting his job and then looking for another one. I told him that maybe he should find another job first and then quit...he told me I wasn't on "his side" and didn't act like I cared about him. My kids (now 11 and 13) both hate having him around, because he is so negative, angry and depressed all the time. Even with the extra money coming in from his share of the rent, it doesn't seem worth the down side of having him here. So 10 years into the relationship...do kick him out, try to make it permanent this time, and chaulk this up to a life lesson? Or do I try counseling or something like that? My first instinct is to cut and run, but I'm feeling a little guilty putting him out (again).
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depressed, got back together, lost his job, money, moved in, moved out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 September 2010):
 He needs to either move out or start seeing a therapist/psychiatrist and following a regimen. Depression is hard to deal with, true, but you have to look out for yourself and your kids too.
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 I would make him see someone to try and sort out the way he is feeling i dont think you should put yourself or your kids threw this. I think you need to ask him to leave and move on this guy clearly does not need a partner he needs profesional help.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (8 September 2010):
 he seems to be suffering from a severe mental disease he needs to see an expert. ur kids shouldnt be witnessing all that.if u want to be with him ok,dont live with him though.
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