A
male
age
41-50,
*eartbroken in love
writes:I need some serious advice from someone who can relate or can put themselves in my frame of mind. Quick outline of the plot to my story. My best friend is a girl. I have loved her for a long time. She has always known this. We met online 3 years ago and have seen a lot of each other and been hanging out. Before we ever met in person she met this guy who had a girl friend. She knew before she slept with him that he had a girlfriend. She has also known all along that I loved her. She used to always tell me that she couldn't stand cheating. She went and pursued this guy last year and was sleeping with and accepting that she was no more than the "other woman" while enjoying the fact that I really do love her. I am a faithful person and I have never cheated on a girl. She has recently ceased contact with this guy. I always figured that she would cut contact with this guy through the prospect of losing me. It didn't not happen that way. She cut contact through something he did. She stopped sleeping with him a while ago but still hung out with him from time to time. I told her that I will never believe that she could want all that I am and still have room for a jerk that cheats on his girl in her life. Now she tells me that I am the only one she feels completley comfortable with. Problem is I am reluctant to pursue an intimate relationship with her knowing the idea of losing me was never enough to make her stop talking to this guy. I want to forgive and forget. But I don't know how to go about it. How do I know she is not really the kind to hot foot after a guy just because she is attracted to him even though he has a girlfriend? What happens if we are together and she finds another guy she thinks is so attractive. It just really bothers me that the thought of losing me was never enough to make her say "I need to get rid of this guy". Please someone give me some insight. Thanks
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male
reader, ulick  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 A word of advice. My ex cheated on me after 5 years and one child. I knew her previous relationships ended because she eventually fell for another and cheated. This did not sound right but I did not pay the right attention to my gut feeling and tought it would be fine. Now I am sepèarated with a child after she cheated on me. I think in some way its like a drug. There is probably something they find irresistebly exciting about the whole situation that when they circumstances are right they can't resist it cause they tryed it before. So STAY AWAY.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): I might get "canned" for this, but stay away: "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
I saw it happen to my brother; he fell in love with a girl that admitted her cheating past with exes but that she had "changed" and would never do it again. Guess what? She cheated on him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 February 2010):
I think you know the truth about this girl. She's not the one. Chances are she will eventually cheat, and to be having sex with married men is a really bad sign. She will come to be jealous of you and suspicious because she will believe all men cheat. Move on from her.
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