A
female
age
30-35,
*oggirl2007
writes:Hey there! I'm thirteen years old and basically, going through possibly (from what I've been told) the toughest time of my life.Anyways, getting to the point. My ex-boyfriend who I broke up with then two weeks later realized I made a horrible mistake is now dating a girl who I and a lot of my friends don't trust. I've spoken with a few people who should be important to my ex-boyfriend (his brother, his best friend) and they don't like her either.Actually, his brother said the other day he wished I was my ex's girlfriend.Now this girl seems to be a mess. She's had sex with a lot of her boyfriends (so far not her current), and from what I was told, has sold or done drugs in the past. I just can't trust her and I know I'm not the only one who says that he should break up with her now before she forces him to do something he doesn't want to do.My ex-boyfriend is smart, really smart, but he gives into his girlfriends too easily, trust me, I was one of them. He's also incredibly sweet, and I trust him with my life, but I don't trust her.There's a dance tomorrow, and I wanted to approach him and tell him my concerns, because what do I have to lose? I've already lost my best friend to this girl, and pretty much lost my ex's friendship. Anyways, I know what I want to say to him, but it's been months since I've talked with him in person, and I'm not sure how to ask him if we could talk in private. He already thinks I've been following him around for some reason (heard that from one of his good friends), causing me to lie low for a few days.All I'm asking is for some advice, and I know that some of you might tell me just to leave it be, it's none of my business. Before you do, please know this; I would absolutely die if I saw him get hurt in the way I believe this girl might hurt him.Please and thank you!
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female
reader, doggirl2007 +, writes (6 March 2008):
doggirl2007 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your replies and I have come to a decision to just let it be and see what happens. Eventually, I'm sure, his best friend will tell him he's concerned or his family will. This girl also doesn't stay with boyfriends that long, and probably seeing she can't do much with him (well, get what she wants), she most likely will break up with him. And Prudence, I might try the little "I miss you". That sounds as if it might work in my case. Thank you!
A
female
reader, Prudence  +, writes (5 March 2008):
Is the issue here what might happen to him, or the fact that you regret breaking up with him? I know it hurts to see someone you're fond of in a position where they might be hurt, but you can't mother him. He needs to make up his own mind. When we let someone go, as friends or boyfriends or parents, we need to trust that they are capable of running their own lives. If you know this is really about regretting your breakup, your only concern is to casually let him know you miss him, and leave it at that. It will let him know that you're willing to get back with him again if he becomes free.If he doesn't act on that, you need to bow out gracefully.
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A
female
reader, mightyhawk  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 I honestly don't think it is you who should tell him this stuff. Ask yourself, why are nne of his other friends telling him what is wong? Surely if it was that much of a problem, they ould confront him themselves. The chances are he won' listen to you,harsh as it may sound, seeing as he already thinks you are followng him, and you barely alk anymore. I would not tell him myself. I would let it go, he will make his own mistakes, and prbably learn alot from them. I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): I would be careful about approaching him if I was you, especially as you say he gives in to his gf's easily, he could be quite likely to take his gf's side and may even be quite aggressive in response to anything you try to say to him.If it's any consolation she may have nothing to do with drugs anymore; but in any case I'm sorry but I don't see you as the best person to keep an eye on him in this case, especially if you still have any feelings for him. You make it sound as if his friends share your feelings, if this is so they are probably in a much better position to both keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.I would recommend that you let this be, you don't have to forget it completely, but don't let it worry you overly much, concentrate making sure you're ok, look after yourself, and don't forget he too is able to look after himself. Hope this helps, and yes teenage years are difficult, but they should also be some of your best, so make sure you have fun.
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