A
female
age
36-40,
*emalespicolli
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years now. We lived together for 2 of these years, and moved out a couple of months ago, because I wanted to further my education and I couldn't afford living on my own and school. Since then, things have only gone downhill.He has lost a lot of weight the past year and his ego has gone from 0-100. He checks out other girls constantly, he even put a pic of him and his ex girlfriend as his main pic on facebook. We argue every time we get the chance to get out, and are constantly threating to break up with eachother.I just can't take it anymore. A man that I haven't seen in awhile recently came back into town and asked me out on a date. I feel the "butterflies" again, and my boyfriend hasn't talked to me in two days because of our last "argument". I'd like to go out with the guy, but I still don't know what is going on with my boyfriend. My heart knows that it will not work out, but I don't know what to do, and we even argue about breaking up, its just a big old mess.help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Out of respect for the 3 years you've been together (perfect or not), don't go out with the other guy until you've decided to break it off with your current boyfriend. As to whether you should or not, I would probably recommend so. You sound as if you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. You were able to handle living with a significant other for a relatively long period of time (I've known marriages that haven't lasted 2 years), but still knew that you wanted to pursue your education, and did what you had to do. I would simply ask your boyfriend if he ever moved past the age of 15. Facebook as retribution? Come on. If he's the same age as you (22-25, I'm assuming), tell him to grow up. Unfortunately, it sounds like it will take an event like you breaking up with him for that to happen. Or maybe that won't even help.
A
female
reader, femalespicolli +, writes (21 July 2010):
femalespicolli is verified as being by the original poster of the question I agree I think I should end it with my boyfriend beforehand, but I also am not the type of girl who would hook up with someone after 1 night, I like both of these answers and i'll definately think about them each. Thanks for your help ;)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 July 2010):
You know those big problems? They need your attention. Not your friend who you'll end up cheating with (and you will). Because if you do that, your boyfriend and everyone else will blame you, and that will be your reputation left in the gutter (something that will follow you)
Your boyfriend clearly isn't a great guy. There's too much arguing, and too little initiative on his part (the ex girlfriend picture is pretty immature and low). And it sounds too toxic to stay in. So end that with your boyfriend permanently. But don't see this other guy until you do, because everyone will blame you. Don't give any reason for anyone to be able to blame you.
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A
female
reader, peggypoo +, writes (21 July 2010):
If he is putting up pictures of him and his ex, and he is suppose to be your boyfriend, then obviously he doesnt feel that way does he?
Look at this as how your marriage to him would have been. He loses weight, and now he wants to be the stud he never wasnt.
I would go out with that other fellow just to spread your wings. Doesnt mean you gotta sleep with the guy and it sure doesnt make you unfaithful if your current boyfriend is out of his cage and on the loose.
Maybe in time, your boyfriend will realize what a jerk he has been but why should you have to wait until he comes back to earth? What if he never comes back to earth and here you are missing out on opportunities?
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