A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I am in a bit of a pickle and I don't know what I should do. See, I am in love with a man who doesn't feel the same way for me. I know, I know, and I'm trying to move on from that. The problem is that I genuinely do love the guy and it has been impossible for me to let him go in my heart. I'm not sure how to even go about it - I've never tried to purposely fall out of love with someone.Anyway while I'm in this healing stage, I have several other guys that are interested in me. They are all nice and sweet and everything but obviously nothing compared to the man I hold dear. Now I'm not one to play around. I will go on dates and enjoy my time with someone, but I don't think it is right to drag people along if I'm not ever going to be interested in a romantic way. These guys have potential and I want to give each of them a fair chance, but my mind and heart are currently biased because I'm not over the guy I love.See, I am not sure what I should do. If I give in and pick one to date now, my heart is not going to be in it as it should, which I don't think is fair to them. However, doing this may help me to get over the guy I love more easily and that would allow me to be fully devoted to the relationship - I'm not sure if it would work or not. I don't want to drag good men along if I can't give them a fair chance, since essentially I would just be using them to help me heal. However if the relationship survived past that point, it may turn into something more for me, knowing that he stayed with me through such a hard patch in my life.What do you guys thing I should do? Date? Not date and wait until I somehow get over this other guy? I am very confused...
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female
reader, kittykins  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 I agree with angelDlite, there is nothing wrong in dating guys in your current situation, however you should make it clear with them from the beginning that you are not interested in anything serious at the moment. I haven't got over my ex completely yet, and I am very tempted to start dating and get on with my life. But I know deep down that I shouldn't go too far down that path as I'd only end up hurting myself and missing him more. It is normal to feel confused, and don't be too hard on yourself that you cannot commit yourself emotionally to a new man. You will get there in the end, and when you do someone wonderful will be out there waiting for you. Focus on yourself for the moment, and enjoy being free:) xx
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (5 September 2011):
 there is no harm in going on dates as long as you are honest with the guys and not leading them to believe you are emotionally available to them right now. its your call though. i have always found that if i am not over an ex yet, i don't even want to date anyone else and the times i have tried it it has just made me miss the ex more! don't feel obliged to go out with these guys just cause it is what they want. you will get back into dating when YOU are good and ready
x
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