A
female
age
30-35,
*ustJuicy
writes:well its a hard situation that i am in at the moment i am young and have had a gorgoues little son, myself and my partner are 18 years old so both stil very young, we have been going through a really bad stage the last fewmonths we split for a break and 3days into the break he was sleeping with someone else, he then came back to me saying he loved me and he was sorry etc.. so i gave him another chance to find out he was going behind my back to see her and message her, he swears he wasnt cheating he was just being mates with her and thats all but i have been so paranoid as he has slept with her before not just once but 3times. he has been so secretive with me and keeps talking to her and i found out everything. i said to him he has got to stay away from her this time and not speak to her anymore as i need to gain my trust back wwith him and i cant do that all the while he is talking to her, he told me he stoped and i believed him but then the girl sent me conversations that they had been haveing and he was telling her he was going to leave me to be with her when i confronted him about it he denyed it at first until i showed him proof he then told me he was jokeing, but to me this isnt a joke so i left him, he then begged and begged and said he would do anything to get me back and i feel like im always repeating myself he has told me that he hasnt spoken to her in ages and she has told me this too and normally she tells me everything. i dont know who to trust or what to do he said he is going away for 6weeks to get of the drinjk and the drugs and to clear his head and come back and be the family that we should be, what should i do? do you think i should move on because all he ever does is lie to me, or when he comes back if i see he has changed and he means it should i give him another chance? help please so confused and my heart is breaking all i ever wanted was a family to call my own and now its brocken :( xxxx
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a break, drugs, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JustJuicy +, writes (25 June 2012):
JustJuicy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you i think i got alot of serious decisions to make not just for me but my little boy to x
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 Believe me, I understand the hurt. I am still dealing with the hurt my ex caused me. You find someone you think you can trust and who genuinely cares and he ends up being a complete jerk after all. So frustrating and sad. I just couldn't live with the confusion and hurt on a daily basis anymore. My ex was someone I thought was a great guy, very loving, etc. Then it turned one day. Not kidding...just one day he started treating me completely different. I felt like I was in another world. I hope you sort this out within yourself. I know it is hard, but sometimes you have to get away from all the drama and realize what you really want in your life.
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A
female
reader, JustJuicy +, writes (16 June 2012):
JustJuicy is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont know, i think i guess well i do i love him and just scared to let go i guess, maybe it is for the best he told me the other day he wasnt going away to sort himself out so i think i have to move on without him now best thing i can do even if it does freaking hurt loads you are right i dont need a man who is on that shit all the time, x
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (13 June 2012):
I know you would like to make this work, but why? You want a man who drinks and does drugs? What kind of life would you have? My sister had a man who did this and she's lucky she's alive today. To me, it makes no difference whether he does the drugs in your presence or your son's presence...HE DOES DRUGS and that is his value system. Children learn VALUES from the adults around them. What type of values does he have that are appealing or worthwhile to you?
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A
female
reader, JustJuicy +, writes (13 June 2012):
JustJuicy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe reason he is around my son is because he is the father, dont get me wrong he wont touch no drugs when he is around him but when he is away from us he is out of control, i would never not let him see his son unless there was any serious concern like him takeing drugs whilst in the care of my son but he hasnt done that. i know this because i have always been there or his grandma has always been there and she defently wouldnt allow this. i know what you mean i am so paranoid and we are not even together i just think if he gos away and comes back and we forget whats happpend start a fresh would this make things better or would i just be digging myself a bigger hole ?x
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (13 June 2012):
Let's look at this from a common sense perspective. Should you move on? Yes, you should move on. Why? You just listed more than enough reasons why you should have left a long time ago. Drinking and drugs. Lying. Texting other women. Drama. Is this the kind of future you want for you and your son? Do you want your son growing up with this guy around and his mom in this type of environment? What is he going to learn about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman? Not good things that's for sure. What does this guy of yours have to do to prove he isn't good for you...beat you too? You need to look at this realistically and get out.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 My main concern is why you would have this man around your child if he has a problem with drink and drugs? It is good he is going to clear up his act, but if it was me I would have demanded he got help before he went anywhere near my child.
Anyway on to the question. I believe this is your choice what you feel would be best for you and your son. Hopefully he does what he says and gets help so that he can be a better father. However when it comes to him and this other girl, he wasn't honest with you he lied repeatedly to you. It really is up to you now if you feel that you could go on to trust him if you gave him a second chance. As you probably know relationships do not work without trust therefore I think it would eat away at you and you would become paranoid if you got back with him.
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