A
female
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anonymous
writes:I really need some help. I cant handle it that Ive been dumped for another woman by a man who I'm hopelessly still in love with. This happened 6 weeks ago and I still feel as much hurt now as I did when I found out. Initially, I did cry loads and lose alot of weight and had to take time off work. Then I started being ok and stopped talking about it to my friends and family so they now think Im over it. But Im not. Over the past few weeks Ive tried really hard to split them up which has backfired on myself and made them grow closer. Ive also lied about being pregnant and having an abortion to try and get him back. The only time Im feeling ok is when Im drunk or taking drugs, which Im doin alot now, and its making me lose control of my life. But how else am I supposed to handle it when I wake up in the mornings wishing I wasnt aiive? People say time is a good healer but Ive been feeling like this for 6 weeks now and it hasnt got any better. Im also on antidepressants. Im also gutted because last week me and my ex actually started being nice to each other, I apologised for my behaviour and it felt nice to be on talking terms with him, I didnt want him back and thought I was finally getting over it. But then I got really drunk lastnight, phoned him and went mad to which he said leave me alone I dont love you just stay out of my life. Now its thrown me back to square one. Im on self-destruct and Im scared. I just dont know what else to do. Should I move away? Ive thought about it but I will be alone and I think that would make me feel worse. Im 24. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your excellent answers. Just hearing it has made me feel so much better. Im glad that Im not the only one that has experienced this feeling....like a black hole its all i can describe it as. Ive decided to stay in for a few weeks which will stop me drinking. This will then stop me from making contact with him. Ive also blocked his phone number and email. Im gonna treat this as day one and just take everyday as it comes. Thanks again x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): I think that was a great reply. Brace yourself hon. You've probably got a few more months to go of this yet. I'm on month 8 and it still hurts - it comes in waves now though and I am getting better - but he is still the first person I think of when I wake up and last when I go to bed. We have kids so it's even harder - they come home talking about Daddy and his new girlfriend and her kids and how they're going to get married and buy a bigger house and have another baby blaa blaa blaa. Remember there are people in the world who can't trust the next person they walk into, don't know where their next meal's coming from, have to prostitute themselves for a roof over their kids heads etc etc. It seems hard and you are living one of lifes hardest lessons but I promise you there is more happiness and love out there for you - when he sees you laughing and smiling and relaxed and you can say hi and walk on by, he'll get a little jolt in the heart. Keep smiling - you're going to be fine xx
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A
male
reader, Talksense +, writes (29 September 2008):
 Hi, It seems you're lookin for some answers for comfort, but really there is nothin that a person can say that will take the pain away. I know it's all predictable and that everyone always says time is the best healer, but the reason why people say it because it is the truth. Six weeks is nothin this thing can take years, some almost never get over it, it all depends on how strong you are and how you personally deal with it. When you like someone that much it can make you do desperate things and make you lose your self-respect. The fact is you're not gonna get him back so what you gonna do to move on? Movin away is an option but you're only gonna take the problem with you if don't try and come to terms with it internally, the best thing is to cut off all ties with him and start focusin your mind on keepin busy and focus on yourself. It is sad to keep thinkin about someone who is not givin you a second thought in return and tryin to chat with him is making it worse because you can't clearly remain just friends with this guy. If you don't see him or speak to him then each day you do that your moving on one step closer to being over him and there maybe a thousand steps. I know it's really hard but each time you see him you're takin yourself back to the start again. Maybe, you are a very needy person who feels insecure without someone being there. There's nothin more to really say, other than you have to try, and remember one thing you're 24 you're in the prime of your life in youth,looks,vibrance and maturity combined, do you wanna waste the best years of your life on a guy that doesn't love you when you can find someone who does, you'll regret it otherwise. Make the most of your best years, you're only gonna be at this age once!! Good Luck
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