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Should I meet his family despite their racist background?

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Question - (15 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello..

I have been dating my boyfriend for around five month's. We have a good relationship and he is close with my family but i feel like there is a big "elephant" in between us because i haven't met his family .. and don't have any interest in meeting them after all he has told me about their racist comments and family history in the kkk. plus i am half black so the thought just makes me shiver but will never meeting his family make this "elephant" grow or will time make it shrink? opinions appreciated thanks.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (15 March 2010):

TasteofIndia agony auntI agree with everyone else. If you think they will actually harm you (have they been in and out of jail? alcoholics? drug abuse?), don't go. But, if that's not a fear, absolutely you should go. You need to go. Show them how great, warm and wonderful you are. I don't mean to have you go to teach a lesson, but they need to meet people like you.

And, if they're son loves you and you make him happy, maybe you'll all end up having that in common. And, if your boyfriend is sweet, acceptable and capable of lots of genuine love, his parents must have done something right.

Give it a chance. Be strong!! Good luck, sweetness!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):

Go and meet them. Be charmimg and let them see how stupidly ignorant they are. Atleast you will be able to say youve made the effort. I can appreciate it will be an effort as you will be aware they are predisposed to disliking you, based solely on skin tone! But ignorance breeds ignorance, so try with them even if its only once. All the best x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):

Unless you think they will actually hurt you, do it.

Worst case scenario is they call you names or disrespect you and you leave. Or you will have a good time and put all doubts to rest.

Either way it'll save you a lot of time than if you stay with your bf and wait to meet the family

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