A
female
age
30-35,
*anja
writes:I dont no what I'm going to do, i grew up believing that I'd live my life,how I needed to,doing what felt right to me,but everyone tells me they thought the same thing at my age an now look where they are,stuck owing money,married to the wrong people,working jobs they hate.I keep seeing these people,non of my family are happy,I don't know of any that family that is. and my father he keeps tryna tell me..u cant live this way or that. You have to eat and make money how are u going to get a job!,,you can't believe that! u cant keep dreaming! I know he dreamt once too. last night i mentioned mardi gra being on the news..just in passing,and he was off ranting about gays being unatural! just saying nasty things in general..then my stupid older brother joins in and it turned into an hour long account of every same sex couple they'd ever seen.The problem is..im a girl and I do like boys accept i really like girls too and have had a girlfriend I'm 17 and I dont want to be tip toeing around my family for the rest of my life. and sometimes i just feel this cringing shame and I feel really exposed when I think about the things they say and I feel lik I'm walking through a crowd of people naked and everyone is laughing,and feel really guilty and unatural even though I know its natural for me.I mean i know i'm attracted to guys but when i'm around them..it just feels wrong and I feel unsettled..it hasnt always been like this..just now. I know my story is an old one,millions of people have been through the same thing.But although its encouraging to know its still hard to imagine what my life is going to be like in the future if i have to hide my relationships from my family.Anyway um..i guess i'm wondering if anyone has been through the same sort of thing..and how did they get past it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): You are very young, there is no pressure to be in a serious r/ship just yet. If u like guys and girls then to me u sound as if u are bi, which is OK! Be you, and if that means hiding a girl from parents for now to keep the peace, until you can leave home and financially support yrself then do it. When you are legally an adult you can do what you want.You dont have to tell yr parents anything, up to you. Im sure yr family love you and though it maybe hard for them, in time im sure they will accept that its yr life and you are the one who deserves to be happy, whether its with a guy or a girl - doesnt matter.If they dont accept it them its their issue, its yr life and you deserve to be happy. They will have to deal with it! Dont let yr familys unhappy jobs or unhappy life or whatever make u unhappy too, do what u want, get the job u want to do, that makes u happy. Dont let yr father tell u what to do - its not his life! He may be unhappy but you dont have to be. Change yr future - do what u want.When you are older and you leave home then you can really be yrself and see who u want, u dont have to tell anyone unless u want to, it doesnt matter if u are gay, bi or whatever. But for now, while u are underage and living with them maybe lie low to keep the peace, dont let yr family drag u down with them Be positive. You are not them.hope this helps somehow.good luck,
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