A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for five years.my boyfriend cheated and left me when i got pregnant.i had my baby and take care of him alone.He had never shown to me that he care.Then i chose to be a single mother,and my son carry my last name.Later on,he came back in my life and try to change,but it was too late because he gave me too much bad impression on dealing with him as a father for my son or a husband.he wanted to marry me when he came back,he tried to live for me;but i could not trust him anymore.i started to lose feeling for him even when having sex and i chose to leave him.Five months ago,I met a new guy but we have different culture.I am student and he is retire.we always talk about starting a family,but i told him i wanted to finish with school.he is a lot older than i am,and it will take me at least 3 years to finish school.he told me he can wait; and he does not have too much interrest on having sex all the time.My family are worried about me getting pregnant again without getting married.they want us to think about commiting.The guy usually tell me that he is ready,but when i tell him that my family is worried he replies that i should finish school.he show me that he loves me;but he will not spend anything on me.I have to visit his family in the following months;but i am affraid of moving too fast.He is a perfect man to me,but the money issues bother me a lot;and make me think about my ex cause he was not like that with me.Do you guys think this new guy loves me or he is using me cause he know that i have a long way to go with school and he will have time to change his mind?should i let my parents talk to him about commiting or should i do that myself.He is a respectful person,he is getting really close to my family;but i am affraid he will give me money to shop if we get married.should i marry him now or wait till i finish school.thanks
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female
reader, mooh  +, writes (1 October 2012):
no matter what, finish your studies! that is important for your future and your baby. what would happen if something happened to your current bf? at least you would have your degree. maybe when you would look back in 10 years you would regret not having finished your studies. life is always unsure, and relationships come and go. your current bf seems supportive about you finishing school so totally go for it (he said he can wait)! i think you can then see if you guys are really compatible on the long run, because i think that 3 years is enough to see what a person is really like after the whole passionate phase of the beginning of a relationship is gone (who knows, maybe you will get married while your studies as that doesn't mean you necessarily need to have children right after). about money, i think it depends in this case considering the time you have been dating (maybe that's why he wants to get married because that means that he would be providing for you) however i think that it's also important that you should be able to provide for yourself too, in order to maintain your independence and not be always relying on your bf for every single aspect of your life.
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