A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should i marry a non virgin woman? I am a virgin guy, i dont want to deal with the retro what what jealousy i found out my fiancee has slept with 30 men.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): I have changed my perspective and thoughts on virginity a lot since marrying my wife. I used to think that "sexual incompatibility" was just some made up thing for the times, but it turns out it is real. it can exist in one or more levels: mentally, spiritually, and more... and yes even physically. as different as one person is to the next on these same levels is as different as they can be sexually. Another way to put it: if people can compare one kiss to the next, how much more can you compare the embrace of entire bodies?I was in you same shoes, a virgin considering marrying a non virgin. I was ok knowing she made mistakes and had changed and i loved her and thought we would start a new life together where sex and everything else would be "our first time." But about a year after marriage she shared more information than i ever wanted to know. for some reason she felt that to be honest she had to be an open (audio) book, or should i say romance novel. I have never been the same since, WE have never been the same since. we are ok still, but like i said, it will never be the same.so what is my perspective on virginity? it is a circumstance of ignorance is bliss, great bliss. but in order to achieve this bliss to its fullest extent (in my newly formulated mind), both parties must be "ignorant" aka virgins... or at least the one who is not a virgin should keep DIRTY/COMPARATIVE DETAILS to him/herself. some (not all) non-virgins, unfortunately are cursed with the "need" to have "experience" with their partner first before marriage to make sure that they "fit"If you are a virgin reading this and any of this concerns you and troubles you, try to resolve in your mind NOW if you want only a virgin or not. make this resolve and you will not have to face this forever life-altering cross-road period or without a pre-meditated decision at least. If you love this girl as much or more than i love(d) mine, take a clue from my experience and tell her that her past IS indeed in the PAST and that you want to KEEP it that way. meaning, you don't ask for details and she does not divulge them.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): I'll be honest here. I've done a lot of research as I realized early in my life that I'll marry only if she's a v-card holder. A lt of people have many theories here, and talk about this non-sensical dude that went bonkers over his wife that had some guy lick her tummy just once at a club.The truth of the matter is if you have realized this is an issue then always ask or find out. People talk about hymen reconstruction makes it hard to tell. Believe it's pretty easy to tell just by looking at the vigina unless the girl did it like less than 10 times and the guy had a pretty small dick.If divorce is an option for you (legally and psychologically) and you don't mind moving on for some one 'better' after marriage, then since marriage for you seems like its just for the sex or for things other than becoming 'one' (many call it dating), who cares if she's not a virgin? If you believe in holy matrimony, the original institution of the (usually) single guy-girl marriage bit, then for the Lord's sake ask, find out before marriage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI ended it today with her today i told her the truth and that it wouldnt be fair on her with me havin these nasty thoughts. But she doesnt want to leave
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A
female
reader, Gleek4Life  +, writes (21 February 2011):
You can't hold someones past against them. You can't change the past, it's done with. Either accept it and realise that she's chosen to spend the rest of her life with you or break it off. If you truely loved her you, you would learn to accept her past. Everything you do makes you who you are today; we are all a product of circumstance and if you love your fiancee then get over it. I think you'll struggle, in these times, to find a virgin bride (though not impossible).
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (21 February 2011):
I guess you two are too different for making a good couple. I think this will be a big issue in your relationship as it will bug you more as you start getting intimate with her.
I know that some people won't like this. But I guess you better have sex with her and then date other women. I'm not suggesting you to lie her about marrying. Start by making clear you won't marry. But you want to try being intimate with her anyway. If she's slept with 30 guys already she shouldn't have any problems with premarital sex anyway.
Besides, you can end up having a good relationship with her and getting over her past. And then marry her.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 I've read posts about boys who had retro what what jealousy with a girl who's a virgin but kissed a guy in a party and let the guy lick chocolate on her tummy, and he has a problem with that. I think it's kind of hard, at your age, to find a woman who hasn't touched a guy, fantasized a guy before you. When you meet a girl just don't ask her questions and if she's the talkative type then tell her you would not rather hear about her past. I believe there are still virgins out there, virgins who "broke her hymen during horse riding, sports, inserting tampon, dildo," or girls who had hymen reconstructive surgery. No just kidding, there are virgins out there. Just don't ask. I guess you would never know. But the less images you put in your mind, the better. It's your mind that has to be pure.
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (21 February 2011):
 Are you seeing someone at the moment who is not a virgin? If not, then avoid women of 'experience' as by the sound of you, it will only tear you apart, knowing that others have been there before.
If however you ARE seeing a non-virgin, then why would being married to her make any difference to the way things are now?
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A
female
reader, AMYMC +, writes (21 February 2011):
yes you should relationships are not all about the sex its about you both kentect and share the same interest and you are like best friends and you finish each others sentences she will show you sexaul intercorse when she is ready
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