A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend loves me (and i know he does) and i love him too, i'ts just, he is not a virgin, but i am.He wants to have sex, but i dont know if i want to tho. I dont know if he wants me for my body or for me.I just dont know if i should give my virginity up to him!!!!!HELP!!! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): Hiya, please wait till your older.. i dont understand why everyones in such a rush... You have your whole life for this, find someone special who truely loves you. Once you lose your virginity you cant get it back. You will regret it for sure. If your asking this question it shows your not ready. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): your too young
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): hi
just wanna say. is your age wrong?
cus 12 is wayy too young,
i lost mine at 14 and then had sex agen at 15,i wasnt ready at 15
let alone 12
you say you know he loves you, then he will wait for you to be older
you should know you are 100% sure you want to and ready before you do,
or yuu'll regret it trust me!
...............................
A
female
reader, tonii  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 well i think you should not rush in to things cause his not a virgin i dont think you shud feel under any presser to have sex with him if you feel like you are ready you should do it but if your not ready dont feel the presser 2 do it because you may regret it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): I hate when people tell young teens not to have sex because they "don't know what love is." That basically makes it a dare to have sex and prove that you know what love is.
You're plenty old enough to be having serious romantic feelings, and you're old enough that you bodies are wanting sex.
But the problem is that you're not old enough for this to be a good idea. Not at all. Your bodies (and emotions too) might cry out for sex but so what? Eating candy isn't always a good idea just because you have the urge to eat it. Neither is having sex just because you have the urge.
This is a can of worms. Everyone is saying it. They're not all just trying to take your fun away, they've got good reasons.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): If you don't know if you want to loose your virginty to him, that's probably a sign that you shouldn't. Right?
You are way to young for sex anyways. Your age is stated 10-12. Girl, just stick to kissing. You don't know what love is anyways.
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): One question I'd like to know, how old is your boyfriend, is he older than you?
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Sorry, it's your Aunt Tisha again. Here are a couple of posts that I want you to read too.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-told-my-mates-wed-had-sex-now.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-you-get-pregnant-the-first-time-you.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-virgins-less-likely-to-get-pregnant-the.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-15-and-pregnant-what-shall--do.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-14-my-girlfriend-is-15-and-pregnant.html
Sorry to give you all the scary posts but you really should have all the information before you take such a big step.
xxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): You present as aged 10-12 (underage) and currently living in the USA. You are too young for sex, and your young age it could be dangerous. Anyone who wants to have sex with you is wrong, they will hurt you. Your body is not grown, you are too young. This person dose not love you, they only want to have sex. Once they have sex they will leave you and you will feel ashamed.
Who is this guy. He's not a virgin, he has had sex before. What happened to the girl he had sex with. He loved her but he left her, the sex didn't make him stay. Don't have sex with this guy. He's not very nice, he will hurt you and then he will leave you and you will be left alone.
...............................
A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (15 July 2008):
 There are some issues here that are slightly disturbing.
Firsty, you are *extremely* young to be thinking about engaging in sexual activity. Sex is an activity that you should only really be thinking about towards the end of your teenage years, and you're not even a teenager yet!
Secondly, you are say your boyfriend is not a virgin, and if he isn't, but is around your age then it would imply he is simply trying to lure you into sex. If he is older, then frankly he should know better, and I'm pretty sure he may be in breach of some law. If he is pressuring you then you should tell someone -- maybe a female teacher.
The fact is sweetie that you are seriously too young for sex; and I know that it may seem like I'm a patronising kill-joy, but in all seriousness you need to forget about sexual activity completely at your age.
Pregnancy, emotional hurt, etc. are all potential and likely scenarios that could occur if you go through with this.
Sex will come later in life...Enjoy your youth first!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2008):
You know, I would take a deep breath, and then another, and try to relax and think calmly about this situation.
If you are not sure if you are ready for sex, then you really aren't ready. You will know when you are, trust me on this one. You will be old enough, and you will know that he loves you for yourself. You will not be worried that he's only after you for your body and sex, because you will KNOW him well enough.
I really don't care if he's had sex with one girl or with one hundred. HIS view on this doesn't really matter at this point. YOURS does.
It only takes two people to have sex. It takes two willing and loving partners to have a wonderful sex life. There is a big difference there. Do you see it?
Read this article.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-really-ready-for-sex--.html
Think about all that you will need to prepare yourself for. I honestly think that if your age is under 16, then you are most likely not ready for all the implications of what you're asking us.
You can post back here with what you think about the article, and I hope that you think about what we're telling you. We're not trying to be mean. We want you to have the best experiences with sex when you're ready for it. If we didn't think that you weren't ready, you'd be told to just go for it....
Tell him that you're not ready. Tell him that you would like to WAIT UNTIL you're old enough. If he doesn't respect that from you, then he's actually a creep. Trust me....
...............................
A
female
reader, cristina_baby +, writes (15 July 2008):
 sweetie you are too young to think about sex rite now. if you are unsure in any way you shouldnt do it because you will end up regreting it. ive been in your position before also. if he truly loves you he will understand when you tell him to wait. you said he already lost his virginity which means you wouldnt be the first and it woudnt be as speacial to him as it was too you. he needs to stop thinking of sex at this age. i mean if you think of the consequences at this age that would be terrible. i think you should enjoy life at this age and wait till you are more grown up to think about sex. and if breaks up with you you'll know why he ever went out with you and how didnt truly love you
i hope everything works out for you hun (:
...............................
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 If you are unsure AT ALL, then don't. Just because he wants sex does not mean you have to give it to him. Do NOT let him pressure you. It's not a case of 'if you love him you'll have sex with him' - that is NOT how it works. If HE really loves YOU, he will WAIT until you are good and ready. Your virginity is a precious gift, so don't give it to just anyone. And once it's gone, you can't get it back.
In any case, you are far too young to even be considering sex. Wait a good few years at LEAST - you need to realize that with sex comes risks and complications. If you aren't mature enough to potentially care for a child, or see a doctor about an STD, then you are too young to be having sex.
Remember that it is your body, and only YOU can decide what you do with it. Treat it with respect, and try not to do anything you'll regret. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 You are FAR too young for sex. That's not a challenge. Sex is for making babies, and not just an activity to do with your BF. Your hips probably couldn't even pass a child through yet!!! Do you not understand how serious sex is?
You should wait until you are a grown up, dear. 12 is far to young to even think about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, bebe girlie  +, writes (15 July 2008):
Hi Sweety .. Dont give him ur virginity...or ull regret it .. trust me
XOXO
Hiba
...............................
|
