A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have a complicated situation where my sister and her boyfriend are completely open to open relationships where they'll see other people/have sex with them, but will be dating each other as each other's main partners. I'm a virgin and hadn't had my first kiss until a few days ago which was actually with my sister's boyfriend. She knows and supports the entire situation, and says she would actually prefer if I had sex with him my first time because he's experienced.. I do want to get my vcard out of the way (especially with someone experienced rather than someone unexperienced) but at the same time, it's something special.. I'm really unsure of this whole situation. Does anyone have any advice? Should I go for it or not? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (4 January 2011):
The way I look at it is the boyfriend will probably end up bragging to his mates that he's having sex with sisters.
The relationship you sister is in is not a proper relationship. Proper relationships don't involve sleeping with other people.
I would advise against taking up this ludicrous offer. You will not be doing it for the right reasons and I don't understand why people are so desperate to lose their "vcards".
It's not a race and it's no big deal if you're still a virgin regardless of what people might say.
Use your head not your hormones.
A
female
reader, partyprincess2011  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 NO WAY! Losing ur virginity should be done to somebody you are in a stable relationship with and who loves you and who you love, it shouldnt be something you rush into 'to get rid of ur vcard' nobody knows unless u tell them that u are a virgin so dont rush itl wait and do it with the right persob
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A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Giving it to him is a very bad idea. And loosing it should be something u look back on a positive memorie. Not "I list it to my sister bf who just wanted sex from me"
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Well, actually, before you should consider losing your virginity to your sisters boyfriend you should just have your father take it from you, or and uncle, or a brother.
Is your sister crazy? This is just sick. Sorry, but this guy is a problem and your sister is involved with someone who is weird to do or even consider this.
Get away, far away, call a rape or crisis hotline and get some advice from a professional. Move out, leave if you have to, this is really weird. If you don't have parents to talk to, or grandparents that can be supportive of you at your age, then get outside help.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 December 2010):
NO! For every reason listed below. This just sounds plain weird to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): I think your sister is habituated with such thing and she wants you to be like that, I suggest you to don't fall in such prey otherwise entire life you will suffer, because, you will feel often repeat it once if you commit and if this guy is already experienced he will keep changing and you will be longing for him forever, and I am sure you will become like them to satisfy yourself next time and there will not be any happiness in your entire for this mistake. One thing is also sure by experience I am telling you, how much we have committed sex with someone or many that much sex will be committed by our future partner and when you come to know he/she was like that you cant bare it, it will beyond the pain, stop playing with such thing by loosing your purity/virginity.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Wanting an experienced partner when you are a virgin is having a double standard.
Yes, stop and think about it. That's exactly what it is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): This seems like a clear cut NO to me.
Beyond the fact that it seems slightly medieval to be sharing a mate with with your siblings, I am confident that your sister's opinion about open relationships will change...and you will develop a strong opinion about it at some point in the future. This could end really badly as far as your relationship goes with her. You may resent your sister in the future for suggesting that you sleep with your boyfriend. Alternatley, she may at somepoint decide she wants an exclusive relationship with him and then resent you for having slept with him.
There is also the question of STDs....there are a whole lot of things you can catch even when using protection: herpes, HPV, etc. If your sister and her boyfriend indeed have an open relatinship, then given both their sexual histories combined, I am pretty confident you WILL get a STD of some sort. Believe me, this is the lottery you will win....
You keep mentioning that your sister is okay with this, but that you aren't sure. I can only guess that she is encouraging you to do this because on some level she is not comfortable with an open relationship...and she has some misguided sense that if she coaches her little sister to follow in her footsteps, then she won't feel unsure of what she's doing...She'll pretend she's a big sister and helping you mature when in fact she is being totally irresponsible. Please follow your own instincts.
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