A
female
age
36-40,
*ottmomma
writes:ok so im new here and just want to know wat u people think i should do? ok here goes... i have a three yr old child and im currently pregnant again my babys dad and i arnt together he left me wen i was pregnant. hes a dumb @ss. n e wayz about a yr and a half ago i met sum guy we liked each other instatly and of ciarse he liked my kid as well keep in mind it not his kid.. well im pregnant again from this guy and also left me when im preggo.. he says that its not his child that its my kids dads baby and all this bs!!! but i no its his i aint no slut .. and me and my kids dad dnt even talk he dnt even come see his own child..!! so rife now im single with a child and one on the way.. so my question is should i let my ex the guy that im currently preggo withs baby see the baby when its born?. should i not contact him at all?.. he keeps denying it his baby till this day and it get me mad cuz how can u say that the babys not urz wen i was only wit u?... sorry kinda confusin but i dnt no wat to do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): First you need to be calm. This guy may be in denial because he could be afraid to take on a father role. Just tell him that you need his support and once the baby is born testing can be done to confirm who the father is. I understand you can test even before birth but I am not sure what the cost factor is. Believe it or not guys are sensitive too and he may react different once he sees the baby. Stop pushing him, this may make him more afraid, even though he won't admit it. Please don't use this as ammo and tell him not to be afraid because I think it will back fire on you. Make him a proud care giver first and if he is good person he will want to be the proud father and may want to prove to others that he is?
Without knowing more about this man that's all I could offer for now.
Good luck
Tony
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (30 December 2009):
 Three words - "contraception" and "dna test".
After that, once conclusively established to his satisfaction, I think it is up to the father to make an effort/ show an interest in seeing his child. You cant force him to, nor is it right to deny him and the child the opportunity of being in each others lives.
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A
female
reader, lovelife1437 +, writes (30 December 2009):
If he's denying the baby is his, then don't try to convince him verbally because he's reluctant to the idea. If you know it's really his child and you want to make it clear, regardless of the relationship between you and him, then get a DNA test.
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