A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl at college and we instantly became really close. She was the same age as me, and we just got on really well. She has four children and from what she told me, an abusive partner. I helped her as much as I could, but I was beginning to feel she was taking advantage of me, using me for lifts or babysitting. It also became evident that she didn't like me befriending other people- she got really jealous if I spoke to other girls in our class. Of course, this was starting to annoy me, and she began putting me down, telling me I looked to "fake" with my blonde hair and make-up, and when I confided in her that my husband and I had been trying for a baby for five months she said I must have had a fertility problem and probably couldn't have children, as I didn't get pregnant right away. This upset me, and coupled with the poisonous environment she lived in, I didn't want to visit her anymore and tried to distance myself from her. She lived 30 miles away from me and huffed with me if I didn't see her, and she couldn't come to mine because of the kids, so it cost a fortune on fuel. She caught on that I wasn't visiting and harassed me with texts, then stopped speaking to be because I made friends with someone else, and hasn't contacted me for months. Out of the blue, I received a text asking if I could come and do her hair for her, and shed really like us to be friends again, and I'm wondering, should I let her back into my life or should I move on and forget her?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 August 2014):
 Honestly, WHAT would you get out of this friendship? Do you want to try again because you think she has changed, or because you feel sorry for her?
Funny enough, her FIRST contact to you in a long time is HER asking YOU for a favor. That isn't about friendship, that is her trying to use you.
I agree with Auntie Cindy (as usual)... PLEASE let some common sense guide you here.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 August 2014):
 I am even a bit surprised you ask !
It took you a while to shake her off, and now that you have finally succeeded,... you want to let her creep her way back in ?
The way you told us, this did not even sound like friendship at all, just an opportunistic ( from her side ) acquaintance.
She would not really like for you to be friends again, what she would really like is for you to be at her beck and call for errands and favours as you used to be. Probably she is having a hard time to find a substitute for that ( no wonder ).
She uses you for lifts , babysitting ( and free hairstyling, I suppose ), she puts you down, is insensitive, and lives ina toxic environment .... and you want her back ??? Only if you were totally desperate for company, - but, not even then, if you let commom sense prevail.
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