A
female
age
30-35,
*eina95
writes:I have a question i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years we seperated for a year but kept seeing each other on and off here's the thing he left the house when we seperated and went to live with his brother whichhis brother has a wife that has 2 daughters one 17 and 22. I always had a feeling he had something witv the 22 year old her name jenni, when we seperated he was dating her. Well here's the question he has his nephews bday party and wants to go because he doesn't want his brother to get mad but the ex Jenni lives there and if he goes she will start posting things up on instagram saying she saw him and kissed him she will male all this shit up to make me mad. And he would say dont listen to her but ever since he decided to move back with me she is always bothering me plus im 4 months pregnant with his baby. Why does she bother me? And should i let him go to the party? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 Should you let him? Well he is an adult and should be able to make up his own mind therefore I don't think you being demanding and controlling is going to help. Why do you both not go to the party? It sounds to me like your boyfriend might be the one you should be annoyed at, who says Jenni is lying? I mean why would she? Are you sure he is not playing you both off against each other?
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 May 2017):
 Why is your boyfriend not telling this "Jenni" to back off, especially as you are pregnant so do not need unnecessary stress in your life? Are you absolutely SURE she is making it all up? Here's a thought: perhaps she is telling the truth?
You can insist he doesn't go to the party but I suspect he will either go anyway or not go and resent you for it, so either way you lose.
Why don't you go to the party together and present a united front to this "Jenni"?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2017): Your boyfriend doesn't need your permission.
And given that you not only continued to "see him" (which I presume means you continued having sex with him) during your separation while knowing he was engaging in a borderline incestuous affair with a member of his temporary household, but that you also ultimately allowed him to move back in and get you pregnant, I would suspect he has zero respect for you and as such he's going to do whatever he wants no matter what you say.
And like most women in similar situations you're projecting your anger onto the wrong person: She's not the problem, HE is! If he had any consideration for your feelings then he'd be defending you by standing up to her and demanding she stop bothering you.
You don't mention baby daddy's age but since his brother has grown step-daughters I can only suspect he is much older than you and thus can easily manipulate you into bending to his will. You had the opportunity to see him for who he really is, but he told you what you wanted to hear and so was able to appeal to your ego and vanity as well as your insecurities and vulnerabilities at the expense of common sense and good judgement.
Now that he's knocked you up you're stuck with him in your life for the next eighteen years. I can only hope for your child's sake that you eventually smarten up enough to teach your son that real men don't treat women with contempt and disdain or your daughter that strong self-confident women don't allow themselves to be treated the way you allowed her father to treat you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2017): Is there some reason you can't go with him to the party?
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