A
female
age
36-40,
*weetheart1nonly
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year now. He is an Anglican while I am a Catholic. Met his parents on three occasions and they looked forward to having family lunch/dinner with me to also get to know me better and more. The problem is his parents are so controlling.They travelled out of the country for few months and he started going to nondenominational church and invited me to be coming along and they are so good. Yesterday the unthinkable happened. A man from their Anglican church called the parents that he has not been coming to the church and that it was me who pulled him out of the church. The parents got mad and started making threats at him, they do not want to see me again. I\m trying to drag him away from family traditions, almost hitting him. He is 27yrs January.This resulted in him getting fed up and breaking up with me. That he is tired of the way his parents are disrespecting him and would not even let him do what he wants. I told him breaking up is not the solution but that's what he wants for the time being and wants to stay away from his family. Which also does not solve anything.I do not know what to do. I've made up my mind to move on for something as little as this and more painfully, I was not the one dragging him out of his family church. What do I do? Please serious advice.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 September 2012):
 "The subject" is your boy's being tied to his parents' apron strings. The "clouding" comes from trying to decide if it's important (or, if it makes any difference) how it happened that he (your boy) attended another house of worship and whether or not the was some sort of battery involved.....
A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (26 September 2012):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Sage
I don't understand by what you meant by if I stuck to the subject.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 September 2012):
OP: You're clouding your own issue by picking out details to dispute...... IF you stick to the subject, maybe you can get a grip on the "answer" to your query.....
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (26 September 2012):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Denis32
That is wrong. I said his parents, his dad almost hitting him, saying I was dragging him from the family church
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Excuse me for going on what you yourself said:
Namely: Some man saw him at the new church; reported to his parents that you were trying to drag him away from their church; they got mad and don't want to see you again, and you add that "I'm trying to drag him away from family traditions, almost hitting him. He's 27 years old January."
If in fact you were almost hitting him, THAT constitutes a lot of pressure - unless his parents were exagerating.
Either way, he seems to be pretty torn between you and his parents.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (25 September 2012):
Your boyfriend is 27 years old. What church he goes to, or whether he goes to church at all, are his choices to make.
Honestly OP, I have to advise you break up with this man. I find it alarming that at age 27 his parents have that much influence over him. Clearly the difference in religions is going to be a strain on the relationship, and I'm afraid it will simply never get any better. Your boyfriend will have to choose between you or his family, and most of the time people who are in that position choose their family. It is the logical choice.
I think your boyfriend needs to learn to be his own man. Then and only then will he be suitable for an adult relationship.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (25 September 2012):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Denise32,
You did not understand the post well. I never dragged him, I was just following him. I said his parents in their anger and when they were shouting at him said I was trying to drag him away from family tradition which is not true.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (25 September 2012):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your replies and both of your opinions/answers were what I also thought about. I will cool it with him until when and if there is a change.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (25 September 2012):
You say he started going to a different church, and invited you to join him.
True, the initial decision to do so was his, BUT YOU ADMIT to "trying to drag him away from family traditions." In other words, you are pressuring him instead of taking a step back and allowing him to deal with his family on his own terms.
Putting pressure on someone just about never works. You can see that its a bad idea because it has pushed him to decide to break up with you.
You'd be well advised to back WAY off now - as in don't contact him, and stay away from his family as well.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 September 2012):
It's difficult to understand the intensity of feelings that some people have about their religion if YOU don't share that intensity relative to YOUR religion....
I'd interpret that this guy's parents see their son's attending a service at another denomination as a MAJOR faux pas - nee, disrespect - of them and their religion... and they aren't taking it well... And, what's not to understand if they have had "Little Johnny" under their wing for 27 years?????
I think you'll be wise to "cool it" with this guy... now, and, maybe, forever... until he can reconcile with his parents that he is a free adult, and - as so - is entitled to undertake his own spiritual undertakings. AND,.. if that means outside of "Mummy" and "Daddy's" church/religion, then so be it....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 September 2012):
 Are you sure he isn't just using hie parents as an excuse to break up? I mean it really doesn't make much sense. Now I can see that STAYING with you might be a way to teach his parents a lesson but breaking up? I think he just found an easy way out of your relationship.
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