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*onely1085
writes:should I let 19 years of marriage go..My husband told me soon after my daughter from a previous marriage was married and hand a beautiful son that he didnt love me anymore and that he was not old enough to be called papaw. I am 9 years older than my husband.He has started losing most of his hair and now lifts weights every night.He will not kiss me or have sex. but he wants me to talk to him about having sex with other people like this turns him on but he will only put his finger inside of me.He wants to talk alot about mens penis's he gets very excited about this to where now I am wondering if he is gay. I talked to my pastor about him not loving me anymore and the new baby and he think he is going thru a mid-life crisis and to give him time to figure his life out but Iam so hurt by all this. My mother is dying and the family is having to take care of her at her home and my husband will not even come see her.My heart can only take so much and I dont think I can even cry anymore what sould I do....help please....I feel now Iam to old to start all over again... Reply to this Question
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reader, lonely1085 +, writes (6 February 2011):
lonely1085 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your support I guess I have lost my self worth along the way I was living my life thru him his friends his hobbies his goals. The things that made me happy fell along the wayside. I guess the fear of starting over is hard but being miserable each day is a day lost. Thank you again for your support!!! My husband always made fun of me because I loved to bird watch he said it was a old persons hobby.. He is just and idiot. My mother and I would set and watch them for hours... these are my happy times with my mom.Thank you for giving this little bird a push out of nest it is time for me to take control of my own life instead of someone controlling me... thank you
A
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reader, Nonamus +, writes (5 February 2011):
You deserve better than this. Leave.
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A
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reader, lonely1085 +, writes (5 February 2011):
lonely1085 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your support I have never turned to the internet for help or looking for just someone to hear my voice. I really feel you should not bring family memebers into your own personal problems, this will only cause resentment. And yes I do work, I work 3rd shift, and since all this has been happening I am working everyday to pay off credit card debt so I will be able to make it. I guess it just takes the heart a while to heal when you do truly love someone so much. And watching your mother slowly leave this earth each day is sometimes too unbearable, so thank you for listening ...
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reader, luv2luvme +, writes (5 February 2011):
 I am so sorry that you are going through this but I have to say this. People don't wake up one morning and just fall out of love nor do they wake up one morning to discover that they are attracted to the same sex. It is clearly evident that either your husband is a misleading lying *A*hole or there was a lack of communication and failure to see the signs of a broken marriage. Do yourself a favor and get out of this relationship before he hurts you futher. I have been married longer than you have. Leave him! You deserve to be happy don't let your husband steal your happiness. Put all of your focus into your mom. I wish you the best.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 February 2011):
 Sounds like a mid-life crisis to me too! my hubby is bald and is 11 yrs younger than I am. My oldest child is only 13 years older than he is and I can't wait to be grandma... and my hubby is sort of ok with it but not quite.
I'm sorry your husband is struggling so with so many things now... his aging is probably bugging him and the grandbaby does not help...
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reader, pinktopaz +, writes (5 February 2011):
Definitely sounds like your husband is going through some sort of midlife crisis. I think it hurts more to stay with someone who has told you that they no longer love you than to end the relationship. Unfortunately, these things happen even after two people have been married to each other for a long time.
If he is going to hurt you and be selfish then you need to do what it takes to make you feel better about yourself. I would imagine this takes a huge toll on your self esteem and you're thinking that you'll wind up alone the rest of your life. Don't worry about that stuff (even though it's nearly impossible), just know that you have your daughter and your beatiful grandson in your life--that will definitely help you through this.
I don't know first-hand about your ordeal, but my parents are getting divorced right now after 27-years of marriage, so I've really been there for my dad since my mom seems to be the one going through some sort of crisis, so if you need someone to talk to at all you can message me :)
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