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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: We've now known eachother for 5 five and have been FWB for four. In the beginning, I was instantly attracted to her but due to certain anti-social qualities, I didn't want to be in a relationship. She was also attracted to me as well so she wanted to be with me somehow. We became good friends for about a year. She called me on a random day and asked if I wanted to hang out. I said yes. When I got over to her place, it wasn't long before we were comfortable and watching tv. In a only a few minutes she was instigating sexual contact. That was the start of our FWB relationship.We've had the most amazing sexual adventures since then. Anywhere and anytime was the motto. In the span of four years, we have fallen in love with each other, broken up, wanted kids, got back together, broken up, stayed FWB, dated other people, stopped talking for a few months, became single, got back in touch, began FWB again. It really did feel like a roller coaster ride, which is what probably kept us coming back for more. There was so much passion, drama and heart aches. I have watched her mature from a 18 year old girl into a beautiful woman and I honestly feel like I'm ready to give her that family she wants. The problem is that she doesn't seem like she's as attracted to me as she used to be. Her words say she loves me and could never see a life without me but her actions say otherwise. Every time I set up a date, she either cancels or doesn't show up. Every time I try to instigate sex, she doesn't reciprocate or brings up an excuse why she can't.She says that she would like to marry me someday but I'm hesitant as she doesn't show that she's ready. We're not even a couple as she says that she's not in a good place right now. Lately the only time she really contacts me is when she needs something. I honestly feel this friendship has turned into a "you scratch my back, I scratch yours" kind of thing. We haven't had sex in the last three months and I barely talk to her once a week. The no sex is fine if she doesn't want to anymore but what I'm getting frustrated with is the idea that she's using me now for what I can do for her and feeding me false hopes in return. Should I leave her?
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 this sounds so wrong on so many levels that have to go for the break-up option. Too much drama or one brain to deal with. A good relationship is very subtle and "drama-less in my mind
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 Yes. If she ONLY contacts you when she needs something from you, and does not even want to have sex with you ( not that I would approve of repayng favours with sex, from a moral standpoint , but at least, you'd get something out of this ! ) then it's not " I scratch your back, you scratch mine ". It's , she gets her back scratched, and you get used.
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