A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I leave my husband of 12 yrs? My husband has cheated on me numerous times only 3 times I have proof of. Back in 2005 he had an affair that lasted for 7 months. I never knew anything was wrong it was a huge slap in the face. The reason for it he said he didn't get to see me as often as he wanted because we both worked. I forgave him it took a year to get to the point that I wasn't angry anymore and move on he promised he wouldn't do it again he said he was sorry and didn't know why he did it. We went to counseling for a while. Well back in june I caught him again. I also at the same time found out about an online affair that had been going on since 2009. So he had a local girl who he was talking to on facebook and meeting up with and another girl online that lived in another state that was sending him nude pics and emailing back and forth. He never came and told me about theses affairs I always found out on my own. This last time I kicked him out for a couple weeks and then took him back. He says the reason he did it this time was because I didn't pay enough attention to him. We went back to counseling again. Now last week I found out that he is looking at porn again and he is talking to a women that he plays an online game with saying things I won't repeat on here. At the same time he's crying the blues to me about how he doesn't want me to leave him and he loves me and bla bla bla. He doesn't know that I know about what he's been doing this last week. I'm at the end of my rope should I just give up my 12 year marriage with 2 kkids one his and one ours? I feel like there no more I can do to save this marriage.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): Take it from someone who has been down that road. He will continue to cheat. My ex did the same thing to me over and over again. Until after 20 years of marriage I caught him with a girl half his age and i told him i had had enough. I kicked him out, and yes it was the hardest thing i ever did, and I'm still hurting over it. It's been 1 year since this has happened, I waited to see if he would come back but he didn't, and you will go through feeling like you are not worthy of anyone. And you won't understand why he did this to you. But it was not you it was him. Get all you can from him, I got mine. No, the money does not replace him. But in time it wont hurt so much. Don't go out an try to find someone. Find yourself first, make you happy, then if and when the time is right someone will come along and make you more happier than you could have imagined, that is what has been told to me. Stay strong, there are alot of people that go through this. But only you know how your heart feels. Good luck to you.
A
male
reader, bronzed adonis  +, writes (18 December 2012):
 You could get over this eventually and move on to find someone who will not lie and cheat. You may find someone who makes you happy. It is time to let him go.
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A
male
reader, scottmartinez2012 +, writes (18 December 2012):
 According to me Serial Cheaters are like people with a psychological disorder, its like Kleptomaniacs frankly. So if you can forgive him endless time i think you may stay with him. But having a personal experience i am sure its a condition.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 December 2012):
 The love you have for him has not saved you from his cheating and it never will.
He is a serial cheat and he will NEVER be satisfied...NEVER.
My Grandpa was a serial cheat his whole life, yet he remained married to my Grandma until she died. She lived in his shadow, unloved but afraid to leave.
It was only apparent after he died that he had practically tried it on with almost every female in the family as well as having several affairs outside. (one that lasted 11 years...and he cheated on that woman also). He died of a neart attack whist on top of a lady and he was 76 years old...he was the most disgusting man I ever met.
Life is too short to waste it on a man like this. Sure it will be akward to sort everything out and leave but the prize is being able to move on and find peace and hopefully happiness with someone who is not a cheat.
Ig nore all his excuses, they are just words he uses so he is never inconvienienced by having you walk out.
It's time to drop him and start living your life as it should be lived.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): Yes I would leave his cheating A^^ You're too good for him, you have been way too nice to him and giving him too many chances,you keep taking him back because you love him and you don't like the hurting feeling,,,,look at it this way.Anyway you look at it,,, you're hurt,,, you're hurt if you stay,,, you're hurt if you leave,,,I would leave because after leaving and getting over him you will have a better life, it will take some time to get over him but you will, this type of behavior happens every single day, once you find a nice friend to talk to you're be just fine.If you stay you will be in this heartbreaking rut the rest of your life listening to his lies. I would have lefT a long time ago and let him be free with his women. Once you leave, if it's not about the children then he wouldn't have anything to talk to me about because he has broke you down and he doesn't care because if he did he wouldn't keep doing the same thing over and over again. I would dump his A^^ first thing in the morning so he can see how it feel to hurt someone. I wouldn't even take him back 25 years from now, I would be done with him.Collect your child support and enjoy your life, he did it to himself.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (18 December 2012):
He will cheat on you until the day he dies, or as long as he has lead in his pencil. Make your decision based on whether you can accept that or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you I guess I know what to do its just sooo hard because I do love him. And I just need some support and some encouragement. I don't have anyone I can talk too about all this so I appreciate your answers.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (18 December 2012):
 HI
If I am to be honest here I would say yes tell him to sling his hook elsewhere. ou have given him more chances than he deserves. Every time his say's it's because you never gave him enough attention! this is a favourite excuse most people use to try to turn things around so you can feel sorry for them and question yourself. However you took him back time and time again, went counciling and yet STILL it's not enough for him. Dont waste anymore years on a man who clearly has no respect or love for you. Let someone else put up with his appauling behaviour. When your ready and feeling better about yourself you will meet someone who KNOWS exactly how a woman should be treated, right now your just your husbands door matt. See it's a vicious circle, once you allow his behaviour to be forgiven once , he knows he can do it again and again because you take him back! be strong and this time stick with it. as far as I am concerned once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat.
Mandy x
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (18 December 2012):
I feel the same way and it is obvious he doesn't care nor is he willing to change. If I were you I would give up as well because there is no love in the relationship or commitment. To be honest there are no excuses for cheating in my book. I could let the first time but the other times would be just too much for me. I could be way happier being single if I were in your situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): Yes you should FINALLY give up on this marriage, you should have done that long ago. the only reason he wants you to stay is for security and not because he cares about you. from the 'security' of the marriage he wants to continue having these affairs and other fun on the side.
12 years isn't that long. I know many people who divorced after 20 years and more.
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