A
female
age
30-35,
*weetlady09
writes:Hello everyone, I have a little bit of situation here. And i need your advice. 2 months ago i meet this guy from a dating site, and then everything happened so fast and he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes because i liked him. I was single for 2 years before i went out with him. and he told me he's been for 3 months. i wanted to try "relationship" again so i thought he was for real.. he introduced me to his parents and his mom and dad loved me and even his friends and sisters.. but just a week after we were officially together he started changing and he doesn't call me anymore and always moody.. and i was calling him a lot coz i wanted to know what's going on. and i guess he got annoyed and he broke up with me. His parents said sorry for his actions and i said it was fine and that i was ok, even his uncle said sorry. anyway, his sister talked to me and she told me he was just single for 1 week before he asked me out, so my heart dropped so fast because there i knew i was a rebound and it really hurt me... but i didnt showed it.. i blocked him on facebook and all i stopped calling him and his dad wanted to keep me as a friend on facebook so as a respect i kept him, just him. couple of weeks later my bestfriend received a message from my ex saying he is sorry and all and to tell me that he really feels bad. after a couple more weeks i unblocked him coz i thought i was over it.. and then he added me back on facebook. just a week ago, he told me that he missed me that "i" still mean "the world" to him, i knew it was a lie.. but i dont know why im so stupid that i fell for it.. before that i asked him why did he broke up with me and he was honest enough to tell me that his ex came asking him back and that he was confused and i was bugging him too much so he dumped me and he kept on begging for my forgiveness and i told him it was fine. and he stayed up all night asking me back to be his gf again. and i finally said ok.. i forgave him and trusted him again.. and thought id be different this time... his parents were so happy and they invited me for dinner and all .. my boyfriend was very sweet, he was serving me food, he kissed me in my forehead and always there with me saying he loves me in front of his parents.. but here's the thing, a couple of days ago he started acting like how he was before, i always call him but he never pick up, one time called him like 10 times and he didnt picked up and didnt even returned my calls, basically he ignores my calls and he doesnt text me first, i have to do it first ... and lastnight we fought but we were ok after.. and he told me that he will be better and he was sorry coz he was busy.. been busy for couple of days.. but we all know that when someone cares .. it doesnt matter how busy they are .. they will still find a way to talk to u.. even for couple minutes.. anyway he didnt called me all day today, so i called him around 7pm. i called him 3 times and he didnt picked up his phone.. so i called again after 10 minutes and he picked up.. i dont know how he does this but he answers like nothings wrong ... i was about to break up with him .. coz i had enough .. (well i thought) but then he said, babe im so tired i was working and went to take my placement exam.. so i kinda hold back for a second and he said well i wanna take a nap, it was enough for me that i talked to him but im still hurt of what's going on..is it wrong that im feeling neglected? unwanted? and worthless? am i just being too clingy? should i let him lose a little bit? maybe he's just really busy? please i need your help..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): It sounds like he genuinely liked you until you went overboard and got obsessive. It's NOT OKAY to call a guy 10x in a row...you call ONCE and leave a message. You should have other things in your life to keep you entertained or you will drive your boyfriends away. Not only that but it's extremely rude to call someone 4x in a row until they pick up. It shows very little respect for them and it makes you look very demanding and like a stalker!!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 August 2011):
 Sounds like this guy will keep you on a yo-yo ride as long as you will tolerate it. Sooooo, HOW LONG will you tolerate it????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 He doesn't totally commit to you as girlfriend. He's unstable and keeps changing his moods which affects this relationship. Whether his excuses are true or not, please do check out (not just only accept his excuses). So you'll know what the truth is and take action whether it's worth it, to move on or not.A good Bf always takes care of his girl friend and does not neglect her at any moment. He'll provide a future plan towards a happy marriage emotionally amd financially.You're indeed nice Girl, able to forgive and accept his behaviours good and bad. but please THINK DEEPLY, Does he change his behaviour towards you? If not, he definitely won't do that in future. If you can tolerate it now,will you able to do that again and again? Is this type of bf that you wish for? Don't you think that you deserve better one?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 August 2011):
 Not at all. You are not being too clingy. It sure sounds like his parents and family like you a lot more than his previous girlfriend. But I think his ex may still have some influence over him. Because if he really cared and was available to you there would be far more interaction. There is something not quite right here. One would have to know a bit more. But not picking up several times, and then picking up like there is no problem? And then gives you a feeble excuse. Sounds way too fishy for me.
I would try being very very cautious for a little longer. But not too much longer.
Have you spent a whole weekend with him? when you are with him does he receive texts that he 'just has to answer?'
Don't warn him he is on "probation" with you. But observe when he contacts you, how long he speaks, and the content. Do not try to contact him any more often than he contacts you.
If he is genuine then this alone may make him feel more insecure.
If he is not genuine then he will hardly notice.
And if he does not share huge chunks of his day with you then his explanation of "what he has been doing" should be more than just, "Oh I did stuff".
If he is still wishy washy at the end of the month then break it off. And immediately after phone his very nice Mom and Dad and explain why to them. Because they, at least, have been very genuine.
Also do a double check that he is not already enjoying the charms of his ex as we speak.
Best Wishes with this.
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