A
male
age
36-40,
*arm
writes:My GF and I (4 years, getting shaky) had a fight via Instant Messenger (don't ask) a few days ago. I called her immediately after with no response. I waited a couple of days and called her again, today--no response all night.What's the deal? Should I just wait? Should I stop by her place (it's only a few blocks away)? Should I call again? Give her space?[Moderator's note: What did you fight about, if you could tell us?] Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 February 2010):
Wow. I would take your side since she CHEATED and made promised that she's not kept. Come to think of if, end it anyway since she's probably cheating again anyway. There are far better women out there.
A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (24 February 2010):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWho was in the wrong? That's a silly question: depends on whose side you want to take.
The premise of the fight was this: she recently made promises about how our relationship would be (after I caught her at the dude she cheated with's apartment "getting her coat," which she apparently left months prior--OOPS!), and then as soon as I accepted her terms, she goes back to negligent, shady, and secretive (not to mention she has cheated in the past but has never owned up to anything "physical"--but it was quite obvious when I caught her).
I hadn't seen her in a week, we had plans, she blew them off. I asked what happened to all the time you promised we'd spend together? What about all of the sex you tempted me with but we never have? She said I was mean-spirited, etc. Hasn't returned a call since. That was 5 days ago.
I left her one last message that said something to the effect of "if you don't want to talk to me anymore you should tell me so it can just be over. This is childish and I'm done trying to get a hold of you. Bye."
I really don't trust her. If it's over I'm fine with it. But it'd be a shame having spent so much time together, which was mostly good. I guess people change.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): 4 years relationship and she's refusing to talk to you. Obviously it is more than just an argument via instant messenger!! If you want to get replies that understand your problem you need to try and provide a good perspective of what the actual situation is. But to be brief and answer your question, if you have made numerous attempts to contact her and she has ignored you, I would give her some space and wait for her to get in contact with you. It doesn't look good though!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 February 2010):
Give it another couple of days, then if she hasn't responded send a letter to her. If she still hasn't responded after that, let her do some running after you.
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