A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dont know what to do. I love my boyfriend to bits, but there are some things i dont like. He is unemployed ( i am too, but i am trying my best to get a job ), he has spondylosis and he sleeps a lot during the day. I know he cant help having an illness and feeling tired because fo it, but he might also be tired because he is at home so much and doesnt have a good diet. He is very sweet and caring though, and has a good sense of humour, and he loves me to bits too. He is also insecure and has a bad temper sometimes. However, i think another guy is interested in me. He is confident, has a good sense of humour, and he said that i wouldnt be shy if i went on a date with him !. Lol he thinks i am a shy person, which i can be when i first meet people. I'm intrigued by that comment. I havent actually gone on a date with this guy yet, but i'd like to give him my number and take it from there. I'm just not sure though whether i should split up with my boyfriend and go for the other guy, and i dont want to two time them.
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male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (22 November 2010):
Just so you know, no one is perfect. For every guy you're with, after long enough you'll be able to create a huge list of great things and annoying things about him. The grass is always greener on the other side...
But do what your heart tells you, just realize who you'll be hurting in the process and what you'll be giving up. Best of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): If you think that your current relationship can't be fixed with a little more effort then i suggest you end it. With regards to this other guy, if you break up with your boyfriend then yes you can do what you like but i have a feeling you might regret it.
I think you see this other guy as a bit exciting and obviously excitement is one of the things you're missing in your current relationship. If you love your boyfriend as much as you say then why aren't you fighting for this relationship?
It's probably best to be single for a while. Dating this new guy might just end up as a rebound thing and you'll feel worse off.
Being on your own for a while might shed some light on what you really want. Maybe if you did date this other guy, once the initial excitement has worn off you might end up regretting it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 No dating other men until you are single.
And decide if you want to stay with your boyfriend based on who he is alone. It's not fair on him that you only date him until someone "better" comes along.
If he's got an illness you shouldn't try playing doctor and say "he could go out more and have a better diet" etc. You're not his doctor, how do you know. I think you don't understand his illness, or you are frustrated with the situation of being unemployed yourself and taking it out on him. Perhaps you want this new guy because he has a job, or something that gives you a sense of security that you aren't getting from your boyfriend at the moment.
Just be aware that you do not know this new guy, and he could be a bad man for you for all you know. If you love your boyfriend you wouldn't do anything to hurt him, and even actually considering going on a date with someone else and dumping him over this other person is deceiving.
If you are ready to move on from your boyfriend, then do so. But don't do it just because you think this other guy is better. Break up with him if you aren't happy with the relationship. For all you know this new guy and you wont work out and you will be single. So make this decision for YOUR sake, not for either of these men. After a relationship it is also best to NOT date anyone for a certain time, first off out of respect to your ex, second because you need to heal from the breakup, and third because it is so easy to just end up with a rebound-guy.
So, decide if you want your boyfriend or not, and ignore this new guy when you make this decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): i also wanted to add that my boyfriend never goes out anywhere literally, except for important things like shopping e.t.c. and i just feel that in a relationship, you should go out to places together, rather than stay home all the time. And it doesnt have to cost much to go out somewhere. we have been on and off for a while too.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Dump your boyfriend, he just isn't doing it for you anymore. Your relationship has gone stalemate, you're nitpicking at his flaws especially ones that he can't help.
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