A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating someone for the last 3 months, and he painfully reminds me my father. They have one thing in common, it's the way they conduct all the conversations. My father has no patience listening to something that he thinks is not important. For the past 2 years I didn't tell him anything about my travelings. Basically he doesn't know if I even travelled. At one point I understood he couldn't care less about my ventures. Also little things that interest me like concerts I go to, get together with my friends, weekend trips, he just doesn't care. All he wants to hear about my health and job. Also my father is a big reader. He reads complicated books and would definitely like me to do the same. I have no time and honestly no desire. Besides work, I study 2 foreign languages which I really enjoy, and it takes me a long time to prepare homework. I do read occasionally but i try mostly to read in this languages that I study.I am sure if I read those books he reads, then we would have something to talk about. My boyfriend is the same way. He tunes out if I start telling him about someone from work,or about a friend. I feel lonely at times with him because of that. I feel everytime I open my mouth to say something it has to be a significant news or just to keep silence. That's why enjoy more to spend time with my friends. And I don't think it's just a guy thing. I have male friends who are ready to jump in a conversation anytime, and great companions. Lately I started thinking may be I should just not waste time with a guy who is like that, because really, this quality in my father sometimes upsets me a lot. The way he stops our phone talks, pretending he has something urgent to do, even after 5 minutes of conversation.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (18 September 2015):
 I wouldn't recommend that you stay with your boyfriend. After only 3 months you prefer the company of your friends over him? That's NOT good! We should be able to talk to our mate/partner about anything, and if they love us then they will be interested in what we have to say..not tune us out or act indifferent.
Your father is your father..so he's kind of yours for life and you know that he has qualities that you don't like..but your boyfriend??? You aren't stuck with him hun. Find someone more into you. You'll be much happier. Good luck!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 September 2015):
 There's cruel irony in your submittal. That is, that people often gravitate to others WHO RESEMBLE THEIR PARENTS (!!!!). It's quite visible in the case of: "Those two (long-term partners or spouses) are starting to look like one-another."
AND, it's also the case that our parents' behaviour is something which is "familiar" to us.... and, in our quest to stick with what is familiar to us.... we date people who also BEHAVE like our parents...
There's no reason you can't stick with your B/F. BUT, you must remember that HE ISN'T LIKELY TO CHANGE (ever!!!)... and you know that he is likely to be like your Father, forever.
Decide if that's what you want in a partner and in life... and make a decision to either break away from this guy... or reconcile yourself to the remainder of your life not being any better than what it's been like up until now...
Good luck...
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