A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am the type of guy who can easily have a friendly chat with strangers, both male and female. Once in a while, after it, I may ask a female out.The other day, I was waiting for a bus, and there was an older lady and a young girl there. As I was from out of town, I asked the latter something about the buses here and we got into a friendly chat. The most personal I got was complimenting her on style of dress. I suddenly remembered that I left something at home, and wishing her all the best I left and came back between 5 and 10 minutes later. By then the girl's bus had left with her but the older woman was still waiting for her bus.I asked her which buses have been and she told me, adding that I should be careful what I do, because the girl I was talking to before was heartbroken when I left. Because we were so friendly with each other, she thought I was really into her. I asked her can't I just talk to anyone, for fear they get an emotional attachment? She just shrugged her shoulders and said "i don't know what to say.."So do I need to stop talking to random females. I can tell you I have cheesed some off just by not starting a conversation when they send me strong signals of interest. I have seen this by others also.
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female
reader, firefly23  +, writes (26 August 2013):
If a guy commented on my clothes, I would probably assume he was hitting on me. Even though, I wish you could tell someone their clothes looked nice, without it being misinterpreted.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): OP, here. I must be a bit naive. I never realised complimenting a person on their clothes is a "come on"..
Ciar, as I wrote, I don't only select young girls. I talk to men also(and old ladies-it really makes their day). That's me. I have been told that I made someone happy by being friendly. Oh, and I do not find men attractive. Once or twice I have been chatting with a guy who let me know they liked me(the other type of way). I explained that I only like girls and cleared off.. Especially when they start touching me. Men are a lot more up front than females.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 August 2013):
 I don't think you should take that comment literally. Probably the older woman ( or the younger one, if the older was only reporting what the younger had said ) meant it jokingly . I refuse to think that a normal woman can be "heartbroken " or even really disappointed if a random stranger with whom she has exchanged a few words at a bus stop ( or on a train, at the bank, supermarket etc. )afterward has to go about his business. She may vaguely think " attractive guy, too bad he did not stay longer "- that's all.
You may want to watch your "friendliness " though, if you are SO friendly, yes people can get the wrong idea. "The most personal I got was complimenting on her style of dress " , really ? That's incredibly personal !, normally one does not comment on the looks or attire of a perfect stranger. If you do , yes, it's sort of a code : rather than saying " wow nice boobs " which would be rude, and SCARY for most women, you say " wow great shoes "- but, unless you are a flamboyantly gay fashion desiger, you both know it's not the shoes which attracted you most :).
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 August 2013):
 I think you should KEEP being who you are. The young lady is JUST fine, she had a nice conversation with a young dude and that is it.
The elderly lady is WAY off base.
I agree with Ciar though, hold back on the compliments if you are just shooting the breeze. Compliments are kind of a way to "hit" on girls, I'm sure you know that. So if you don't want girls to misunderstand your banter, tone down the compliments.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 August 2013):
 Heartbroken is a bit dramatic, but I can understand why others thought you were interested.
If you're selecting young, attractive women to talk to then it isn't exactly random.
And you should be careful about doling out compliments. It's rude to draw attention to people's appearance whether your remarks are intended to flatter or insult. Many seem to think that as long as they think they are complimenting someone, they can say just about anything. Not everyone enjoys being in the spotlight. And surely you're worldly enough by now to know that compliments are often used as pick up lines.
If you like chatting up strangers, then try being more random and less flattering.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): This sounds crazy. You spoke to someone of the opposite sex for a few minutes. So what? Even if the younger woman used the word "heartbroken" (you are relying on the older woman's testimony), she might have said it in a not-so-serious way, as in, "He was cute. It's a bit heartbreaking that he's gone. Oh well!"
If the younger woman really was serious and thought you were really deeply into her and is now falling to pieces with heartache, the she must have an emotional imbalance of some kind. You are not to blame for that.
Enjoy having conversations with people -- just keep it classy, as always!
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A
female
reader, freakygeekgrl +, writes (26 August 2013):
It sounds to me like you're just a really friendly guy. I find it kind of refreshing that you engage in friendly conversation without any expectations or agenda. But it's a rare thing so, prepare to be misunderstood. Lol.
I wouldn't let it change who you are, or stop making idle chat with people in your path but do be aware of the signals you might be sending or how they may be received, as I'm sure you wouldn't want to lead someone on.
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